Seeing Is Believing
by EddiesGirl
Summary: Seeing is believing...right? Something is up in the lab, and new girl Holly Matthews is on the receiving end of it, what can she do to help? Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**This is only my second fan-fiction and my first in this style. The italics are someone else's thoughts and hopefully it makes sense. If you don't like supernatural fics then don't read it because it won't appeal. Please Read and Review, thanks! Also, it's inspired by Just Like Heaven, so some people may know where its headed! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from Holly.**

_Somebody notice me, someone has to know I'm here!_

Slamming my fist into the side of the machine I cried out in anger, it was eleven at night and into my first shift at the New York Crime Lab, I'd managed to break a heel tackling some guy on the street and probably earn myself some 'looney tune' points from dancing across the trace lab waiting for results. And now, the vending machine won't work. I give it a swift kick, watching as the bar edges forward slightly, smiling at the fact that I'm winning the fight, I plant another forceful kick.

"Whoa, hold your horses there.'' A New York accent tells me from behind. I turn sheepishly, hoping that it's not the maintenance guy who is going to bust a gut that I'm kicking his machine. "That machine slap your grandma or something?'' Instead I'm greeted by a tall, dark haired man in a suit with the deepest blue eyes I have ever seen.

"It won't give me my Hershey bar,'' I answer sounding distance memorised by his eyes, probably not my finest moment.

"Well we can't have that on your first day now can we?'' He smiles, he shoves the top of the machine harder than I could, making the bar fall to the bottom. "Don Flack, but everyone just calls me Flack.''

_Smooth Flack._

"Holly Matthews,'' I answer as I retrieve my Hershey. "People call me Holly.'' I laugh, my god I'm pathetic at jokes. He smiles back, although I'm sure he's just humouring me. "Want half?'' I offer the bar across to him.

"Ok, but only cause I'm hungry, usually I don't meet a girl then take half her candy.'' He explains.

_Like hell you don't. Lair._

"So you're the new girl from Boston then?'' He asks, taking a seat on one of stools at the bar.

"Yeah, well I am from Staten Island originally'' I explain snapping the bar in half, and passing him some squares. "Went to college at Boston, nothing was bringing me back at the time, so I stayed and went to academy there.''

_Boo hoo, no one cares about your life story._

"Should have known that kick as a New Yorker,'' he laughs. "Heard you rugby tackled a dealer from the park.''

_Big deal. I can kick that in my first hour of a shift._

"It was nothing,'' I smile back, "I snapped a heel, so it really wasn't impressive.''

"Mac thought it was alright, and everyone wants to impress their boss on the first day right?'' That's as maybe but I doubt he thinks that when he caught me dancing to Sexyback I think, although I choose not to discuss that topic. "Listen, don't listen to the gossip, I know Mac was going to hire you before everything that happened.'' He catches the eye of a woman I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to know outside the break room. "I gotta go, anyone gives you hassle, send them to me yeah?'' He shots as he makes his way to the door.

_Like anyone is scared of you, I laugh. I try to follow Flack back so I can eves drop what he and Stella are discussing, I want to know what she thinks of the new girl, and she's a general good judge of character. But I can't. It's like I'm stuck in this room, I am not being stuck in the break room, it's like there's an invisible barrier in front of me, I can't move any further forward. What? This has never happened before, why can't anyone see that I'm here?_

I nod in response to Flacks final comment. Well at least one person is talking to me like I could actually be more than a temp. Screwing up the wrapper and tossing it in the trash, as I make my way back to the trace lab so I can finish up and maybe get back to my place before the sun rises.

_Finally the barrier seems to shift and I can move, I try to follow Flack as he and Stella head for Mac's office, but I seem to be dragged away from them and I am instead being taken to trace lab, it feels like some kind of magnet is dragging me by the back of my shirt. I want to go to Mac's office!_

I retake my seat at my make shift desk, meaning I can fill out my report as the results come through. Placing one headphone into my ear and turning on my ipod, probably not the best idea after today's performance but its quiet and I don't intend on making the same mistake twice. Tapping my foot along to Will Smith's Switch, I get back to examining my perps trousers.

BAM

My head jerks up, that was a definite bam against the glass. There's no one in sight, I'm sitting in an empty lab and I can't see anyone near any of the glass walls, I check the floor to see if anything has fallen into the glass somehow.

_She heard that. Oh my god, she heard something I did. I try again to hit the glass but nothing happens._

I shake my head, I must be hearing things, I replace my headphone in my ear and continue on with the rest of the nights work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to the reviewers, I'm glad that you are enjoying it! Please R & R!**

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I'm falling, freefalling through the air. I can feel the air rushing past me, I know that I'm going to hit the ground soon. "We need you. It's time to wake up. It's been decided. We need you.'' There's a strange disembodied voice ringing through my ears, then a beeping sound. "Wake up NOW'' It screams. Suddenly I'm sitting up in bed, panting trying to catch my breath, as my alarm is screeching next to my bed. The dream is still clear in my mind as I reach over hitting the off button, climbing out of the warmth of my covers and heading for the shower trying to shake it off.

* * *

"But you followed her didn't you Kyle?'' It's late in the afternoon, the dream from the night before is still playing on my mind but I'm more concerned with nailing this guy for rape and murder. "You followed her, pretty girl, short skirt. Thought you stood a chance with her. Fibres from her skirt were caught in you belt buckle.'' I'm pacing the floor on the other side of the table, my tough angry voice filling the room whilst my suspect sits back in the metal chair.

"I told you that I was in the club. I may have knocked into her, no crime in that.'' Kyle Turner just sits there talking with pure boredom in his voice. I hate guys like this, no form of regret, no conscious, lying to my face and acting like a tough guy with big muscles and tattoos.

I push another autopsy photo in his face. "There is a crime in raping and killing a girl though Kyle. See that? That's a bruise from your fist.'' I point out an obvious bruise pattern on the side of the poor girl's face. "And that?'' I slam another photo onto the table, "Is the pattern from your ring, embedded in her skin. Now I know what you're gonna say, plenty of rings like that in New York. Trust me Kyle, only yours tested positive for Lola Penn's blood.''

"You know how it is in a club, people always knocking into you. Maybe I caught her in the face…accidentally.'' He adds, rising an eyebrow in contempt.

I take a seat across from him. "I've got you Kyle. So let's run through my version of what happened. You followed Lola, cornering her in that alley, offering what I'm sure would have been a night of 'passion'.'' I make air quotes and roll my eyes at him mockingly. "But Lola wasn't interested, so what she push you? Or laugh in your face, I'm not sure maybe she did both, how does it feel when that happens huh Kyle? Or did she do it in the club and everyone saw? Wow, that must hurt being blown off in front of your friends, big tough guy like yourself.'' I'm locking eyes with the guy, I can see that I'm touching a nerve with every word I say, anger is rising in his dark eyes.

"She was asking for it,'' he growls. "Dancing like a stripper, then knocking me back in front my hommies, had to teach that bitch some respect.''

"How did that first punch feel? Good release isn't it, like taking some pride back. Only you couldn't stop there. Had to teach her 'respect'.'' More air quotes were made, I sit forward only inches away from his face. "Raping her, bitch never gonna treat you like that again she is? Respect taught, what Kyle Turner wants Kyle Turner gets. But you couldn't just leave it there, you just needed to punch her again, and again and again.'' I lower my voice. "But she was still breathing, how dare she? So you grabbed that chain and twisted it around her neck till she turned blue. Then you finally walked away. How far did you get till you heard her move? If you'd only kept walking Kyle, if only… You went back and put a bullet in her chest didn't you Kyle? That gun I pulled out of your car's gonna match isn't it Kyle?'' I keep rising my voice until I'm practically shouting at the guy.

"No wait, I never shot the girl.'' His eyes look gleeful, like I've just excused him of the crime. "I beat her, and twisted the chain round her neck, but I didn't shot her. She was still alive when I left.''

"That's just the problem Kyle, she wasn't alive. She was dead when you let go of that chain. You choked the life out of her.'' I glare at him, spitting the words out of my mouth.

"You said someone shot her.'' He looks at me disbelievingly, like I've snatched away a lifeline, and technically I have, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

"It's amazing really, see detectives can lie in an interview. No one shot her Kyle. You killed her. You just admitted to twisting the chain.'' I begin to gather the photos up off the table. "Don't worry, I'll let her five year old son know that the last thing his mother learnt was respect.''

"You bitch'' He screams flipping the table across the room, trying to make his way over to me. Almost instantly I'm on my feet as two uniforms rush in and flatten him against a wall. "You bitch.'' He screams again.

"That's Detective Bitch to you.'' I say coolly back as he led from the room. I let out a breath that I'm even realising I'm holding, and begin to collect up my photos that are now scattered across the floor from the flipped over table.

"Bet that felt good.'' I hear, I look up to find the body of the voice, only to find the room still empty.

"_Bet that felt good.'' I say, leaning against the wall. I'll admit that I like her confidence in interrogation that was a nice catch since she had no evidence that he did twist the chain. I love it when they walk into open traps like that, it's so satisfying. Her head is now looking in my direction, eyes open in bewilderment. Did she hear that? She's searching the room with her eyes, she did. "Can you hear me?'' I ask, but this time I get no reaction as she shakes it off and continues to gather her photos up. I reach down and push one over to her, seeing if I can move it._

That photo just moved, I know it did. I'm now crouched on the floor, staring incessantly at the photo that I know just inched forward towards me. "Good work, Detective Bitch.'' I glance up to find Flack at the doorway. "You having fun down there?'' He asks stepping into the room so that he's staring from the same angle at the photo. "What's so interesting?''

"Erm…nothing.'' I answer, picking it up and standing back up next to him. "It's just been a long shift, think my eyes are tired.''

_Damn it Flack, you have the worst timing in the world. I actually moved that photo, and she saw. Piss off so I can try again, I try unsuccessfully to bang on the glass but my hand falls through it silently._

"Aren't you off now?'' He checks his watch, I check mine. Yeah I should have been home an hour ago, but there was no way I was passing this over to someone else. I'd promised her son that I would get the 'bad man' who killed his mother.

"I need to go tell her son that I got him,'' I say tiredly, rubbing my nose subconsciously. For some reason I rub my nose when I'm tired, not my eyes like most normal people, freak that I am.

"I wouldn't tell him about the whole 'respect' thing mind.'' I gave Flack an odd look, what is he going on about? "What Turner said, about teaching her respect?'' He's now looking at me like he's offended me and trying to explain himself.

"How did you know about that?'' I ask, as we exit the room and make our way through the crowded halls.

"I kinda watched,'' He admits looking a bit sheepish. "But it wasn't just me, like everyone did.'' I widen my eyes in horror, everyone was watching me? "We only wanted to see how you are in an interrogation that's all.'' I shake my head in disbelief. "You're kinda good at it.'' He adds quietly.

_Flack, we need to discuss your game. It's pathetic._

"Thanks.'' I smile at him; he's so cute when he's flustered. "Maybe I can watch you one day.'' I wink at him.

_Oh she did not just fall for that._

"Well maybe I could buy you coffee, we can arrange a time that you can watch me.'' We're both grinning at each other, I'm glad that no one is paying us any attention. "You free now?''

_You two deserve each other, that's no way no win over a girl. 'You're good at interrogation', seen better chat up lines on the side of a milk cartoon._

"I've got to go tell her son.'' I explain, "I'm sorry but I promised he'd be the first to know. But I'm free after that, well once I've filled Mac in on the details.''

He checks his watch, "I've only got an hour to spare, it's just the hospital visiting hours you know.'' He looks down, sighing at the final comment.

"No change.'' I ask tentatively, knowing that no one else is prepared to talk about it.

"Not really,'' He shakes his head sadly. "He would have been impressed though, he has a similar style to you with interrogation. I'll have to tell him he has competition.'' He adds with a slight laugh.

_No need to tell me mate, I'm right here. I saw. Now piss off because she doesn't notice me when you're around. GO AWAY! _

"Maybe next time then?'' I smile, he nods in agreement as we split into different directions at the stairs, me heading towards child services and Flack towards Stella's office.

After about an hour of sitting with Jake Penn, going through the fact that the 'bad man' is now going to prison for a long time and that his Mommy is with the angels, sitting with him as he draws pictures I notice a man through the door staring at me. "You ok Jake?'' I ask, he nods silently as he continues to colour. "I'm just stepping out for a minute I need to talk to this man, just shout if you need me.'' I make my way over to the door. "Are you from child services?'' I ask the tall, sandy haired man in front of me.

_She talking to me?_

"No,'' he seems a bit dazed as he pushes in glasses further up the ridge of his nose. "You talking to me?''

_She can see me? FINALLY!_

I look around, the corridor is deserted. "Yes,'' I raise an eyebrow, he seems to be confused. "You ok?''

"I'm not sure,'' He's staring at me, a happy smile playing across his features, he's quite handsome really. "You can see me? Right, hear me?'' I nod, ok this guy has obviously wandered out of some special services unit.

"Yes, now where did you come from? Is someone here with you? Do I need to get someone?'' I ask sweetly, why wouldn't I be able to see him?

"I'm a detective,'' he snorts at the accusation that he needs to be with someone.

_Finally, it feels like years since I've had a proper conversation that hasn't been one way. Maybe I can finally sort out what's happening._

I hear Jake call out to me. "Wait here, I'll be right back.'' I tell him, re-entering the room and taking a seat on the couch next to him. "What's up sweetie?''

"Who are you talking too?'' Jake asks me, turning his big brown eyes to mine.

"That man.'' I look back up to the corridor, but no one is there. "You saw the man? Tall, with glasses on?''

Jake shakes his head and turns back to his colouring, "It's ok, I've got an invisible friend too. He's called Franklin. No one can see him either.''

"Excuse me Jake.'' I'm back searching the corridor, this man has completely disappeared, with no trace of him in the corridor. I told him to stay.

_I'm still here, you were just talking to me! How can you not see me? Damn that kid! I slam my fist into the wall._

My head turns to another unexplained noise, I'm going mad. Noises do not just happen. Jake must just have not been able to see him from his position. I really need some sleep, I rub my nose again, it's time to say goodbye to Jake, make sure he's ok before dropping him off at child services. Then finish up, head home and sleep.

_There is no way I'm letting you out of my sight! I know you know I'm here!_


	3. Chapter 3

"What is happening here? Something's going on that's not quite clear…'' I'm singing badly out of tune around my kitchen to the music from my sound system. Pouring water into a pan and placing it on the stove to heat up. I'm glad today is over; it felt like it was never ending but at least another murderer is behind bars. I begin to search through my cupboards to search for my frying pan; I should really sort everything out instead of chucking random items in the nearest place. ''Oh what a feeling…when we're dancing on the ceiling…'' I continue to sing, beginning to dance my way across to the open plan living room where boxes are still stacked in the corner where I haven't bothered to unpack. Dancing definitely like no one is watching, I retrieve my pan from the bottom of a box. "Everybody starts to lose control when the music is right…'' I turn to find a strange man standing in my kitchen.

"Who the hell are you?'' I question, grabbing the remote off the coffee table and stopping the music. Pan now held menacingly in my right, ready to defend myself, I can see my gun in my bag which is on the kitchen table, he is nearer, no way I could make could to it before him. "Get out of my apartment.'' I shout at him. He turns around like I should be talking to someone else. "You!" I recognise him as the man from the corridor who disappeared on me.

"_You can see me again?'' I ask, throwing my hands up in the air with joy. "Finally, it's only taken you three hours, do you know how frustrating that is?''_

"Of course I can see you,'' I'm glaring at him, I don't understand how he got in, there's a dead bolt that I locked when I came home. "Get out of my apartment.'' I'm rising my voice with anger, although I'm scared that this man is in control in my apartment, I can't get to my gun.

"_I'm not going anywhere.'' I state, leaning against the counter. "You're the only one who can see me, I need your help.''_

"Get out!'' I shout taking small steps towards him, trying to get closer to my gun. He shakes his head. "I said, get out!''

"Look I'm not going to hurt you, I can't really explain but I know that I need you.'' He states, I make a quick decision. I throw the pan it his stomach and make a grab for my gun. I'm stopped however, as I grab the handle of my bag as I watch the pan sail through his body, hit the side of my counter, bounce back through his body and lands noisily on the floor. I'm stood, gawking at the pan on the floor, then back at him.

"_What? That could've hurt…'' I start, but she cuts me off with a high pitched scream. That really hurts; it's going straight through me. "Stop screaming!'' I shout over her voice, I clamp my hands over my ears. "Someone's gonna hear you.'' I don't know what to do. "Just stop.'' I walk over and place my hand over her mouth; she flinches at the action, but finally stops screaming, breathing heavily through her nose. "Will you just listen to me?''_

I nod, like I have a choice, if a frying pan goes straight through him then a little bullet isn't going to do anything. There's a knock at my door, obviously a neighbour has heard me. We both look at the door; he removes his hand so I can answer the door. I open the door as far as I can, but Mr Jones from next door doesn't even ask who the man is next to me, so I explain that I got spooked by a scary movie, which he fortunately buys.

"Who are you?'' I asked quietly as a re-bolt my door.

"Danny Messer.'' He sighs, I widen my eyes in horror. Danny Messer? The guy from the lab?

"No Danny Messer is in hospital in a coma.'' I state, is this some kind of sick joke. "Is this a joke? Is the team seeing how far they can push me?'' I look around my room for a sign of some kind of hologram system that could explain this. "This isn't funny.'' I say, ignoring the man completely as I begin to search for someone else in my place.

"I know I'm in the hospital, but I'm here too, if you know what I mean.'' He says following me round. I can't find anything out of the ordinary, apart from this 'Danny' in my apartment. "It's like I'm here, but I'm not. No one else can see me but you, I've been walking round that place trying to get noticed for a month and then finally you do.''

"Walk towards the light.'' I say slowly to him, "there's nothing left for you here, go towards the light.'' I through my hands in the way in some way to gesture to an invisible light.

_I look around, what light? "There is no light.'' I say, "apart from that light bulb.'' I point at the light fitting in the ceiling. "And it isn't really appealing to me.'' I place my hands on my hips. "Look I'm not dead.''_

"Walk towards the light.'' I repeat, there has to be some kind of explanation for this. "You need to move on.''

"_There is no light!'' I repeat back. I'm getting frustrated, "I'm not dead and I'm not going anywhere. I'm not dead.''_

"I'm not having this conversation,'' I start going back to my boiling pan of water and pouring some pasta into it. This Danny is stood glaring at me; every time he opens his mouth to talk I put my hand up to stop him. Eventually he stops trying, and instead he takes a seat at my table watching my cook. "If you're not dead then what are you?'' I eventually ask, after I've tried to process the past couple of minutes in my head.

"I don't know, but I'm still here. And I know my body's still here, I've been there with them often enough to see that.'' He sadly shook his head.

"This isn't happening,'' I said, stirring the sauce in the pan. "I don't believe in ghosts.''

"_I'm not a ghost, I'm not dead'' Thoughts are swirling round my head, I'd been so busy trying to get someone to notice me for the past couple of weeks that I hadn't even thought about what was really happening. I knew that my body was in Mercy hospital; I'd stood and watched them talk to me over and over. But I also knew that I was here, that I was in this apartment. _

"_I'm not helping with any unfinished business,'' she says, slamming down plates on the counter. That smells so good, wow, when was the last time I ate? Suddenly my stomach is rumbling._

"_I don't have any,'' I say, watching her dish out the food, two plates! I'm getting food. She places the food in front of me, turning to grab some cutlery. "Thanks Holly.'' She shoots me a glance, I sallow as we eat in silence. It's kind of weird, for weeks I haven't been able to hold onto anything or do anything real, and now I'm here holding a fork and eating food._

"This is a dream,'' I've decided that I'm going to wake up soon and this will all go away. "I've had such a long day, I was talking about you to Flack and it's stuck.'' I gather the plates up, and place them in the sink; I'll do them in the morning before my shift. "I'm going to bed, just don't go through my stuff.'' I add as I leave him in the kitchen, heading for my own room. I quickly change into some sweats climb into bed and throw the covers over my head, praying that sleep will come quickly and this day would be over.

_I sigh, as I glance around the apartment. I don't feel tired, I haven't slept since this happened, I've never felt the need. I stand up, deciding that I should at least to the dishes. It takes me a few attempts to concentrate on turning on the water, my hand slipping through the handle at first. Then suddenly it's like I'm solid, I manage to wash everything with ease, then I tidy the kitchen. It's only 1 am. I should get back to the lab. To do what I think, as I take a seat on the couch. My eyes feel heavy; I close them and drift off into a fitful sleep._


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, thanks for reviewing! I hope everyone is still enjoying the story line!**

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The next morning my head felt groggy, my dreams had been filled with windowless corridors and disembodied voices, and it really felt like I hadn't slept. I was in an occult shop with Mac, processing a dead body that looked like a voodoo doll with many knifes stuck in it at odd angels, surrounded by many strange artefacts associated with the supernatural, tarot cards and strange herbs were spread over the floor. I was snapping my camera away, trying to forget the previous night's events of 'Danny' being in my apartment; well he wasn't there when I woke up. If the dishes hadn't been left cleaned and dried on my counter then I would have been able to convince myself that I had dreamt the whole event.

"That's my son, that's my son.'' Both Mac and I turn to a woman shouting from the front of the shop, fighting through the uniforms. "Oh my baby.''

Mac signals to the uniforms to let her through, although we create a human wall between her and the body. "I'm Detective Taylor, this is Detective Matthews,'' he gestures at me. "We're investigating the death of your son, Mrs Kennedy.'' He adds sincerely. "Can you tell us if your son had any enemies, any one who would wish him harm?''

"No, my Arthur was a good boy.'' She's getting tearful, and her shoulders are starting to shake. "He was meant to meet me for breakfast…'' She whispered before completely collapsing into hysterical fits of sobs. I managed to step forwards and catch her before she hits the floor, I glance at my new boss to let him know that I'll take her outside and see what information I could get.

"And how is the shop doing Mrs Kennedy?'' I ask, we're sitting in the café next door to the shop, where I've been calming her down with sweet tea, whilst asking all the appropriate questions.

"We were doing really well, Arthur had just come into partnership with me, we were thinking of expanding.'' She explained, wiping more tears from her checks. "I've always been involved with the occult; Arthur picked it up when he was young. He wanted to get an education before coming into business with me though.''

"Nothing has been bothering him? Any recent change in behaviour?'' I ask, she shakes her head in response.

"We'll be in touch Mrs Kennedy,'' I say gathering my bag together. "I'm sorry for your loss.'' I add.

"You should believe it dear,'' she says her eyes meeting with mine.

"I'm sorry, believe what?'' I ask, confused with the situation.

_Believe me! Damn it woman! How seriously thick do you have to be?_

"He's with you for a reason, some things are unexplainable, but he needs your help.''

_Yes! Someone else knows I'm here! This isn't some sort of sick joke._

"I don't know what you mean.'' I say, standing up and slipping my jacket on.

"Yes you do dear,'' she whispers placing her hand on mine. "I know he's there, I can feel his presence.'' I look round wildly for 'Danny' but find no one there. "You see dear, all you need is some belief.'' She pats my hand then stares out of the window, I take this opportunity to leave and get back to the shop.

"Get anything?'' Mac asks me as I re-enter the scene. I shake my head and continue on with my camera in silence.

"_Mac, can you hear me?'' I ask, face to face with him. He remains oblivious to me, walking straight through my right shoulder. Fine, seems like it is just this Holly who can see me, this sucks. I begin to look around the shop, usually I wouldn't be interested in something like this but I'm pretty bored. I browse the shelves fingering over the edges of the book. Picking one up about 'Residual Spirits' I drop it to the floor where it lands with a large bang on the floor._

Both Mac and I are now staring at the book which has landed on the floor behind us, we're both about ten feet clear of it with no one else in the room. "You don't believe in this stuff do you?'' I ask, I've only known the guy a couple of days but I've got to say something.

He looks back at me, "I believe in the science.'' He says simply.

"So how did that book jump off the shelf?'' I close my eyes, I can not believe I've just questioned my new boss like that. Sometimes I should really think before I speak.

"_It was me.''_

"It wasn't you, you were there.'' I state, Mac's now giving me a look.

"I never said it was me.'' He says, gives me another odd look and then proceeds to allow the M.E. in to collect the body. I'm left standing there; I know whose voice that was.

"_Listen, if you don't turn around and at least accept that I'm here then I'm gonna mess with you and everyone else.'' I say giving her an ultimatum. I'm getting the hang of this moving objects thingy._

I refuse to turn round, I do not believe in this kind of thing. What's the worst he could do?

"_Fine, be like that.'' I say. I grab a crystal off a shelf and throw it so it hits Mac square between the shoulder blades. He turns giving a horrified look to Holly, accusing her with his eyes that she threw it. I push another book off the edge; it feels good to throw all these things, like the anger of not knowing what's happening is being released. I move towards the back of shop, still being slightly aware of the crime scene around me, opening and slamming the back door a number of times. Both Mac and Holly are now drawing their guns; I can see them through the security mirrors._

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"Matthews,'' I raise my head up to eyelevel again. "Fancy seeing you here.'' Flack is standing in the alley way, a cheeky grin on his face.

_Well if it isn't Captain Smooth._

"Well you know, gotta find somewhere to hang out in the city.'' I reply, brushing some stray hairs away from my face with my tripled gloved hand. I'm currently in my third dumpster of the day in this alley alone, and I'm pretty sure Mac is going to make me search everyone in the city after the incident in the shop. I'm convinced that he's blaming me and this is my punishment. I was refusing to accept that 'Danny' was a part of it either, thankful that I still hadn't seen him since last night. "What do you think?'' I ask, striking a pose in my overalls whilst standing in about a foot of trash.

"I can see it taking off.'' He laughs, "Did you actually throw a crystal at Mac?'' He leans in towards the dumpster.

_Ha that was me I smile, wasn't like I threw it hard._

"No, I was no where near it.'' I reply the smile is now wiped from my face; this rumour is doubtless going to go round the whole lab and precinct. "There was something going on there, I suppose I was the one banging the doors as well?''

Flack continues to laugh, "Come on Matthews, you don't believe in that stuff do you?''

_Well now you're just asking for it. I look round for something I could use._

"You calling me a liar Flack?'' I ask, hands on my hips.

"No, no, it's just you're one of the science geeks aren't you? Can't believe in the supernatural right?'' He blushes shoving his hands in his pockets; oh he is so cute when he's flustered.

_One of the science geeks? You calling the CSI's geeks?_

"So I'm a lying science geek?'' I ask, my mouth open in mock shock.

"No, wait I mean that…'' Flack is unfortunately cut off at this point. His legs seem to give way and his head crashes into the front of the dumpster, at this point the whole dumpster is forced back against the wall knocking me off balance and I crash backwards hitting my head off the back of the dumpster, everything seems to be ebbing into darkness.

"_No, I never meant for that to happen! Flack, Flack? You alright?'' I can see that Flack is moving, clutching his head. "Holly?'' I vault over side of the dumpster, where I find her lying amongst the trash, eyes closed and still. "Holly, I didn't mean too, open your eyes.'' I'd only meant for Flack's legs to slightly buckle, I thought I'd hit the back of his knees lightly, I didn't realise I'd hit him that hard._

"_Matthews?'' I hear Flack ask, supporting himself on the dumpster, blood is seeping from a cut over his left eye. "Holly?'' His voice is rising in panic as he sees that she's not moving. "Mac! I need some help here.'' I hear him cry down the alleyway, as he too faults into the dumpster. "Matthews?'' He asks again, picking her limp body up out of the trash._

"_Flack, what happened?'' Mac's now stood next to the dumpster after running up the alley, looking confused as a bloody faced Flack handed down an unconscious Holly to him. "Holly open your eyes.'' He seems to command as both he and Flack lean over her on the ground. "We need EMS over here!'' _


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to the reviewers, it's really appreciated! For anyone who notices, the middle section of the chapter is inspired by a scene in 'Just Like Heaven', I always end up in fits over it so I tried to write something similar to it, although I'm sure its not as funny as they write it. Please keep reviewing!**

* * *

"I'm fine,'' I repeat as Hawkes flashes light into my eyes. I'm pressing an ice pack into the back of my head where a nasty lump is forming. "Honestly I've done worse.''

"How long were you unconscious for?'' He asks, motioning for me to follow his finger with my eyes.

"A couple of seconds,'' I answer, wincing as he begins to remove the ice pack to the check the small cut that as been bleeding into my thick hair.

"More like a minute Hawkes,'' Flack calls over were a medic is cleaning up his face. "She was disorientated when she came round, kept calling me Danny.''

I look away at this point from both of them to Danny who was standing next to the nearest wall. Ever since I had come round I'd could see him constantly, and hear him. That had been the first thing I had heard, Danny repeating over and over that he was sorry. I had told him to shut up, which both Mac and Flack had assumed was aimed at them asking me if I was ok.

"Danny from Donnie,'' Hawkes laughs, dapping some cleaning fluid into my cut. "Its close enough.''

"You're not that memorable Flack,'' I laugh, wincing again as the antiseptic fluid trickles into my skin.

"_Tell him I didn't mean too, please, I'm sorry.'' Danny starts walking over to Flack seeing for himself the damage he's caused._

"I know it wasn't your fault.'' I tell Flack, like I'm going to tell him that actually your best friend says it's his fault and he's sorry, oh the same best friend that's in a coma in hospital.

"I don't know what happened, it was like something hit my legs and they just gave way.'' He nods thankfully to the medic as he finishes placing a butterfly plaster over his eye.

"I'm fine,'' I repeat to Hawkes as he flashes another light into my eyes. He gives me a sceptical look. "Watch,'' I stand up to prove a point, but its too much, I feel dizzy and a wave of sicknesses washes over me, my own knees buckle as Hawkes has to reach out and save me from falling again.

"_I'm so sorry,'' I say again, grabbing Holly's hand as Hawkes lowers her to back to the seat. She's refusing to look at me, "Just squeeze my hand if you know I'm here.'' I feel her squeeze._

"I want you to go to hospital.'' Hawkes tells me, I open my mouth to argue that I'll be fine in a couple of minutes.

"Hospital now,'' Mac says as he approaches the group, obviously having just seen me collapse into Hawkes. "I don't want any arguments. Then you'll take the rest of the day off.'' Even at this early stage of knowing Mac Taylor I know he's not one to argue with that tone in his voice. I nod in agreement, replacing the icepack to the back of my head.

"I'll drive,'' Flack says offering his arm and helping me up as another wave of sickness hits me. If I had anything on my stomach I'd be worried that I would be sick all over the poor guy. "Maybe we can get that coffee huh?'' He laughs as he opens the door to his car and guides me in, "damn I left my wallet.'' He shuts the door and walks back to get it.

"_I feel really bad.'' I say, I'm not sitting in the back of Flack's car watching as Holly fastens her seatbelt._

"_You should do,'' she answers looking directly at me. "You could have seriously hurt me or Flack, what the hell were you thinking?''_

"_I wasn't,'' I run my fingers through my hair. "I just wanted you to accept that I'm here. I didn't mean to hit him that hard.''_

"_Well done, mission complete.'' She snaps at me, turning so that she's facing the front window watching as Flack has a quick conversation with Mac. "I don't know what you expect me to do now.''_

"_Help me figure out how to get back into my body.'' I say, because that's what I want. I'm sick of being like this, of seeing what me being in hospital is doing to my friends and family._

"_Ok,'' she sighs, leaning her head onto the window. "We'll figure it out.''_

* * *

"What's that?'' Danny asks, nose scrunched up in distaste at the bottle in my hand. We're both sitting on the floor of my living room, many discarded books and occult objects surrounding us, after hours of trying to figure out how to get Danny back into his body.

"Holy water,'' I reply, my nose still firmly in a book reading through a paragraph. "Now stay still.'' I uncork the bottle, "in the name of Jesus Christ I compel you to return to your body.'' I flick the bottle of water at him so it's thrown down the front of his shirt. He looks pretty surprised as he surveys the water mark cascading down his shirt, he glances up at me and before I know I'm in a fit of giggles. "The power of Christ compels you.'' I giggle, flicking the rest of the bottle at him, it's too much and before I know it I'm on my back giggling away to myself.

_I wipe the front of my shirt although the water has already soaked through, smiling to myself. This has to be the most pointless exercise ever; Holly is continuing to giggle on the floor. "The power of Christ compels you.'' She giggles again, although thankfully her stock of Holy Water is already all over me. "Feel any different?'' She ask, trying to hold back the laughter._

"_I feel wet.'' This statement only creates another bout of laughter. "This isn't working is it?'' I ask, as she regains her composure. She shakes her head, a smile still playing on her lips._

"_I've got no idea what else to do.'' She picks up another book, flicking through the pages. "Could always try to burn a cross into you?'' She holds up a page of people burning a cross into a man's head. _

"_Don't think so,'' I smile back. Her phone rings at this point, and she reaches over to answer it._

"_Matthews,'' she answers phone clamped between her head and her shoulder, eyes still on the book. "Oh hey Flack…no much better thanks…yeah I know…if it was a case you can't do anything about it…'' I roll my eyes at her as she smiles, she has such a crush on him, it's slightly ridiculous. "What, now?'' She looks over at me, I shake my head, she's meant to be helping me, not dating Flack. "Sorry Flack I'm slightly busy…I'm on nights tomorrow…yeah I know…blame Mac…agreed…'' I put on my 'put the phone down and help me' look on my face; she nods in my direction to tell me she knows. "Well I'll see you tomorrow…ok, bye.''_

I flip my phone shut and threw it onto the couch, Danny better not get his hopes up that I'm going to cancel all of my plans for him. This is a one time thing. I picked up another book and began to flick through the dusty pages, Danny doing the same with another book across the rug from me.

"You know, maybe you need to like climb back into your body?'' I suggest.

He shakes his head, "tried it a couple of times, nothing sticks.''

"_You tried glue?'' She asks smiling, I laugh in response it seems like it was so long ago since I laughed properly, as her phone goes again. "Matthews…yeah I'm coming straight in…ok fine, bye.'' She snaps her phone shut, and climbs to her feet. "Have to leave it there, I gotta suspect.'' She calls to me as she practically runs to the door, grabbing a fresh tee shirt off a pile of clean washing. "Mac wants me in,'' She continues raised voice from the bedroom, obviously changing outfits. "You planning on staying here and reading?''_

"_You mind if I come?'' I ask, I'd prefer to be at the lab than be left at her place, feels like I'm intruding._

"_Yeah, fine, just don't expect me to pass on any messages.'' _

* * *

"What happened Anna?'' I asked the blonde woman in front of me. "Did you not like Arthur going into business with his mother?''

"I still can't believe that he's dead.'' She asks, tears were in her eyes but I don't buy the act. Mac is sitting next to me, flicking through various evidence sheets and photos.

"Would you explain the reason for the placement of the knives?'' Mac asked, placing an evidence sheet in front of her showing the placement of the knives.

"I don't know what you mean.'' She sniffs; she's really pushing my buttons with this fake act.

"Cut the crap Anna, we know you stabbed him.'' I snapped, her eyes fix on mine. "We have your prints on the handles.''

"I could have touched any knives in the shop, I helped out when I could.'' Her voice tightens, the tears dry up as she continues to stare at me.

"We never said the knives were from the shop.'' Mac's says coolly, we've got her, we know it and so does she.

"_Defensive wound on her wrist.'' I noticed it when she walked in, she's been trying to hide it with a chunky bracelet. "Get her to move the bracelet.''_

"Could you please remove your bracelet?'' I ask, she continues to glare at me as she roughly removes her bracelet, slamming it onto the table. "Is that going to match Arthur's fingernails?'' I point to several scratches on her wrist.

"Ok fine, I stabbed him. He just wanted to be in that shop, I should have come first.'' She replied angrily, "he should have been more concerned with me, than his stupid mother and that bullshit they were involved in. Thought making him into a voodoo doll was appropriate.''

"Well I'm sure you'll come first now.'' Mac says as the uniforms slap on the cuffs. I sigh in relief that we've got her, no-one deserves to be stabbed to death in that manner because they wanted to succeed in business. I know that Mac is going to send me home straight away; he only let me come back in to question Anna about Arthur's death, and before I know it he's already giving me the order. I begin to make my way back to the locker room, Danny in tow, as I almost run into Flack.

"Matthews,'' he greets me. "What you doing here?''

"We got Arthur's girlfriend Anna for murder, Mac let me come in for interrogation.'' I smile back.

"Well you up for that cup of coffee?'' He asks me, I feel Danny nudge me in the ribs.

_No, no, no. Flack, you may be my best friend, and I love you for it. But this girl is the only way for me to get back into my body, and there is no way I'm losing that opportunity so you can get laid. I have to do something, she's meant to be helping me tonight, not getting coffee with Flack, and the sooner I get back into my body the better. Sorry Flack. "You know he's gay right?'' I say into her ear. She pulls a weird look on her face, because basically she can't really argue with me in front of him. "I'm being serious, everyone knows, just no-one talks about it.''_

What? Is he being serious? I didn't get that vibe, at all. I'm trying to flick my eyes to Danny without looking like a freak in front of Flack. "Look at his suit, and shoes. Come on, how could you not tell?'' Danny presses the issue further. I now feel completely stupid, I can't believe I liked a guy who turned out to be gay, and I thought I was more in tune than that.

"Sorry Flack, but I really need to get some sleep.'' I answer, not looking in his eyes, embarrassed that I thought that anything else could have happened with this guy.

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow.'' He smiles, and takes off down the corridor.

I continue on to the locker room, grabbing my bag and jacket out of my locker. "You're being serious? Flack's gay?'' I ask, Danny nods whilst he kicks a ball of paper across the floor. "Damn'' I mutter under my breath locking the door, and heading home. I honestly didn't think he was, it never even crossed my mind, I thought he was flirting, he got so flustered. I really need to get my radar checked.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry, this has been a long time in coming, life has been getting in the way! Thanks for everyone who's been reviewing! I've finally decided how Danny got into this mess, and what the connection is between him and Holly...so next chapter should be up soon! **

* * *

After being officially in my new job for two weeks, I'm guessing I deserve a treat on my day off. Not like I've only had to adjust to moving back to New York, and then settle into a new job. No. I've also had to deal with my lovely 'ghost/spirit' Danny, I mean had he been 'alive' as in had a body that everyone else could see, we would probably get on really well. But when you're trying to process a crime scene and he's talking constantly, pointing out the obvious, you tend to get a bit annoyed, which no-one else can understand since they can't see or hear him. And then, to find out that the guy you like is gay, which I have nothing against but I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing it, Flack seemed like a genuine guy who was interested in me. Not many would consider this a treat of the week, but it feels like I've barely stopped since I started here, I've pulled so many shifts and now so much overtime, and then I've been trying to help said Danny figure out how to get back into his body. I knock on the door hard; I can hear the music beating gently away from it, opening it to reveal a man wearing a tight white tee-shirt. 

"Baby sister!'' My brother Deacon shouts, hugging me as a couple of kids scream in delight and race over to me hugging my legs, shouts of "auntie Holly'' filling the air.

"Yeah, yeah get off me brats or else I'm gonna get you with my dead body hands.'' I laugh as the kids scream at the threat and take off running across to the garden.

"Holly, such a charmer, is it any wonder they love you?'' Deacon smiles, arm draped over my shoulder as we wonder through to the garden on the other side of the room.

"They see me a couple of times a year, it'll soon wear off when I'm here all the time.'' I mutter, placing a six-pack on the table, ruffling my nephew Jack's hair as he runs past. "Where's your Dad kiddo?'' I ask.

"Dunno,'' he says, disappearing round to kids play area.

"So how you been baby sister?'' Deacon asks, taking the cap of a beer and handing it over to me.

"You don't wanna know Deac,'' I answer letting the beer slip down my throat.

"You look tried.'' He says studying my face, I hate it when he does that, he can read me like a book. "Come on Holly, something's up.''

"How's training going?'' I ask, changing the subject not meeting his eyes, instead surveying the skyline across the city from the garden.

"Fine, practising some new moves. Spill Holly, and don't give me any crap bout it being shift work.'' He carries on, this is where I begin to hate him, and we both know that he'll push me till I break.

"You believe in heaven right?'' I ask, watching as his face changes to a look of confusion.

"You're not going on a religion trip now are you?'' He smiles, drinking deeply from a soda can.

"No, it's just…I dunno…like ghosts and stuff?'' I ask, taking another sip of beer trying to make it look casual.

"You finally make an appearance,'' Jack's dad James answers wrapping his arms around me, "only took you two weeks.'' He presses a kiss into my curly hair, "you've not got a ghost now have you?'' He asks, taking a beer from Deacon.

"I think so…'' I answer quietly, scuffing my trainers against the flooring, watching as they fall about laughing.

"You think you have a ghost?'' James manages to get out between bouts of laughter, I shrug my shoulders. Technically Danny isn't a ghost, because he isn't dead, but he certainly isn't alive in a certain sense. I'm glad he's not here today, I don't need him hanging trying to get me to explain my family whilst I'm trying to talk to them. So instead he's hanging round the hospital, trying to see if he can read an update on his status, and see if there's anything we can use in his medical files.

"Not a ghost, but like a spirit…'' I tail off again as they both collapse again with laughter. "I'm not talking to you when you're like this.'' I say sternly, as they both compose themselves.

"Holly, this is you. Deacon nods in agreement as James carries on. "Then you start on about having a spirit, you can't expect us to take this seriously?'' His attention is distracted as a child screams from the children's play area, "I'll be right back.'' He says, placing his beer on the table and heading straight round there.

"Sis, you being straight?'' Deacon asks, I can hear the seriousness in his voice.

"I dunno Deac, I wanna say no. I wanna say it's a pathetic joke, that I'm making it up, but I'm not.'' I answer, running a hand through my hair in frustration. "You think I'm crazy?''

"I think you're you.'' He says quietly, "I think that you'll find some way to explain it, or you'll find the answer you're looking for. Holly, I know that you felt a bit lost with everything that's been happening recently, but honestly you know we're always here, no matter what.'' He wraps his arms around me. "You know James hates stuff like this, now Charlie,'' he laughs, "Charlie would be straight round there, Ouija board and everything.''

"Pity he's somewhere, doing something.'' I say rolling my eyes, Charlie, another brother, adrenaline junkie of the highest degree, thinks throwing himself off a mountain or walking over scorpions is a 'thrill', then writes about gets paid by some extreme sport magazine, which just pushes him even further.

"Last time I heard, he was trying to do snake charming in India.'' Deacon laughed, typical Charlie, not happy unless he was doing something dangerous. "Let's just see how you're spirit goes, why don't you move in with me for a bit huh? You might just need some sleep, take a break from dead bodies.''

"Thanks Deac, but I think that ignoring it just going to make it worse, I've only been at my new job for two weeks I doubt if they're gonna be happy if I start taking time out.'' I'm interrupted by kids running past me, I swear there's only three of them but when they move at pace it's like there's twenty of them.

"Well at least let me take you to dinner next week?'' He asks puppy dog eyes and pouting lips that I can never say no too, I nod in agreement as James returns having solved the problem with the kids, we leave the topic of ghosts, instead catching up on each others lives.

* * *

"_I'm bored,'' I say playing with the focus on the side on one of the many microscopes in the lab. Holly as been on shift for hours, and as much as I love being here when I'm working, but when no-one can see you and there's nothing much you can do without people being freaked out by moving objects, it's a boring and frustrating place._

"_Will you shut up?'' Holly hisses at me, Adam and Stella are on the other side of the lab so she can't talk to me, another reason why I'm so bored. She's still writing some report for Mac, and apparently I have to entertain myself now and for the rest of the evening. It's so not fair, I mean I know she's meant to have a life, but she's also meant to be helping me, and so far we've gotten nowhere. I just don't know what else we could try, and I know Holly feels the same, but at least she's still acknowledged by the world._

"_So what you doing tonight?'' I ask her, she rolls her eyes and continues to write. "Why can't you stay in?'' She checks her watch as she continues to ignore me, then starts to write even more quickly. "What I'm I meant to do?'' I watch as she signs off the form and collects her stuff up. "Fine, I'll just stay here.'' I say huffily, folding my arms leaning against the table._

"_Hey, Matthews'' I hear Flack call as he enters the lab, giving an acknowledging wave to Adam and Stella but making his way over to Holly. "Rumour has it, it's your night off.''_

"_Rumours are true.'' She smiles, slipping some pages into a folder._

"_I was wondering if maybe you were free for dinner?'' He asks, yeah well she's blown me off so you're definitely not getting anything_

_She gives him an odd look, I know what's running through her mind, it sounds like he's asking for a date, which I think he is. "I've got plans.'' She answers, looking up at the corridor. "Sorry Flack, I've got to go.'' She practically races out to the corridor throwing her arms around a tall black guy._

"_Flack what's up?'' Stella asks, she's by his side as he surveys the scene._

"_Do you know who that is?'' He asks, sounding slightly distance._

"_That's Holly, our new girl,'' Stella replies somewhat sarcastically. "The guy I've no idea.'' She adds sincerely._

"_That's Deacon Matthews, plays for the Rangers.'' Flack looks like he's going from a state of awe to that of confusion. I turn and look more closely at the guy, oh my god it is! How had I not noticed that? That's Deacon Matthews! Flack practically worships the guy._

"_Right…and?'' Stella is watching Deacon Matthews slips his arm around Holly's shoulders and they make their way down the locker room._

"_Well he isn't her brother is he?'' Flack says quite angrily, "I mean he's…''_

"_Black, you can say the words you know Flack.'' Stella says, "what does it matter to you anyway?'' She asks hands on hips._

"_It doesn't,'' He spits glancing at Stella and storming out of the lab, "I'm going to see Danny.'' He shouts back over his shoulder. I look back at a confused Adam and Stella, who are still staring at a disappearing Flack, and I take off after him, he obviously has something to tell me._

_

* * *

_

"_Hey Danny,'' Flack says to my body, it's kinda weird to see my body just lying there as I stand by the side of the bed. Flack throws himself into a chair on the other side, running a hand over the side of his face. "You know how I told you bout the new girl Holly?'' He asks, my body lies still, I don't know what he's expecting. "Damn it Danny, you'd be so disappointed in me…'' he takes a deep breath. "Deacon Matthews, I actually saw Deacon Matthews in the lab today you know, and he's with the new girl… my new girl.'' He adds in a bitter after thought. "Danny I think I like this girl, and she's obviously with Deacon Matthews, they must be married or something because trust me they look nothing alike.'' I begin to feel a bit sick, Flack really likes this girl I can see the hurt on his face. I know Holly isn't married, unless there's a major factor in her life I've missed which I doubt. "What do I do Danno?'' He asks so sincerely. "I know something hasn't been right for a week or so, she seemed to…I dunno, we were meant to go for coffee but…'' He shifts position in the chair resting his head back against it so he's staring at the ceiling. "You should have seen the look on her face when I asked her to dinner tonight, it's like it was the last thing she expected…I'm I that ugly?''_

"_Yes.'' I smile, I feel even worse now, the poor guy looks terrible. _

_Flack laughs to himself, "Don't answer that…but it's not like she said anything, I'm pretty sure that she doesn't wear a ring…'' He closes his eyes, breathing deeply. "She's real pretty Dan, got the sweetest smile, and the biggest blues I've ever seen, blonde hair, not like dumbo blonde hair either, bit like yours with the different shades and curls…I'm actually glad you're with Lindsay otherwise I'd think we'd be in competition mate…'' I smile at him, I know that Holly is pretty, but I got my Lindsay, my Montana, I miss her so much it actually hurts. "This is so screwed up Danny…I just want to let you know again that I'm sorry…it should have been me, I shouldn't have let you go first…''_

"_No Flack, stop…'' I beg, I can see he's getting himself more upset. "I know Flack, I know…''_

"_When I saw the car hit you, it was like the world stopped, like everything went into slow motion…I heard the crack as you hit your head against the concrete…I'll never get that sound out of my head… I knew it wasn't good…you shouldn't have chased him Dan…should have just left him to me.''_

"_Flack stop it.'' I can feel a lump in my throat rising. Either way one of us would have been hit. We were going to bring in a suspect; he leapt out of a window and I followed down the fire escape, Flack went back down the stairs. He ran down an alley and I heard a car revving up behind me, and then next thing I know I was standing over my lifeless body, Flack crouched beside me screaming at me to wake up._

"_You gotta wake up Danny…this is killing Lindsay, its killing everyone…please Danny, I'm begging you, just give me something yeah?'' He picks up my hand in his. "Just squeeze it back Dan, come on I did it for Mac yeah? So you can for me?'' All I want in the world is to squeeze it, I try to put my hand inside my actual hand and squeezing Flack's, but he doesn't respond to anything. "Lazy sod.'' He smiles, placing my hand back._

"_I'm sorry Detective, but visiting hours are over.'' A short nurse tells Flack from the doorway._

_Flack nods in response as he stands up. "I gotta go Danny, don't go flirting with the nurses yeah? I'll look in on Lindsay for you, make sure she's right for when you decide to get your self out of this, stay outta trouble mate.'' He gives my body a sad smile and leaves me and body to the sounds of the whirling machines that are keeping me alive._


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to everyone who's reading and reviewing! I think the last chapter was a bit confusing, so I've quickly written this to make it a bit clearer! Keep Reading and Reviewing please!**

* * *

"Find the connection…you need to find the connection…'' I'm groping about in the darkness, trying to find a door or something to take me away from this. There's a ringing in the distance, "find it, it's the key'' I move towards the ringing, away from the voice. Fluttering my eyes open as they adjust to the light seeping in from my curtains, I reach over and grab my phone as it continues to ring.

"Matthews,'' I groggily answer the phone, rubbing my nose in tiredness.

"You're needed at the Rockefeller plaza.'' Flack's voice filters down the phone, not sounding his usual cheering self.

"Don't I even get a good morning?'' I yawn, throwing the covers off my bed and making my way to the shower.

There's a slight pause at the other end, "Good morning.'' He says like it hurts him to say the words, and the line cuts off. Wonder what's wrong with him?

* * *

"Morning sunshine,'' Stella calls to me as I duck under the tape at the crime scene. 

"Nothing says good morning like a good old-fashioned mob hit.'' I yawn, still tired from waking up at 5am. The vic is lying face up in the middle of the plaza, frozen eyes staring up at the dark cloudy sky. "You want me on photos, trace, blood?'' I ask as I set my kit down.

"Photos, I'll finish off trace.'' Stella says, as I take out my camera and start snapping the scene. There's a few minutes silence as we work, I could really do with a coffee. "I didn't know you were married?'' Stella asks innocently as she seals some evidence bags up containing small white specks of paint.

"I'm not;'' I give her a questioning look, why is she asking me if I'm married? "Unless I blacked when drunk, if so my husband has never gotten round to telling me.'' I laugh, trying to put her more at ease at her mistake.

"Oh sorry, it's just when I saw you with Deacon Matthews I just assumed…'' I can see Stella looks a little uncomfortable at her assumption.

"Deacon?'' I laugh, "No, he's my brother.'' I explain as I continue to snap my camera.

"It's just you guys don't look alike,'' Oh no, I close my eyes, I'm going to have to explain the whole family situation.

"It's not like I'm ashamed of it or anything, but I'm adopted.'' I explain, lowering my camera to my side, Stella mouths a silent 'oh'. "We all are, me, Deacon, my other brothers James and Charlie. My parents, well adopted parents couldn't have kids, so they got us lot instead.'' I smile, just because we're not related by blood doesn't mean that I love my brothers any less than I would if they were. "Deacon's parents were killed when he was two, my parents adopted him as they were his godparents. They loved it, so when the adoption agency asked them if they wanted James and Charlie they jumped at the chance. Then they got me. Honestly, there's no need to be embarrassed.''

Stella smiles back at me. "You're really lucky, I was in care for years.'' Now it's my turn to mouth the silent 'oh'. "Again, no need to be embarrassed.'' We both let out a nervous chuckle, and continue working and then head back to the lab to process up.

My phone lets out another ring later on when I'm in ballistics. "Matthews,'' I answer in my usual way.

"You're needed at the Harry Sinclair House, East 79th and 5th.'' Flack says in the same flat tone as before, not even letting me answer before the line goes dead.

"I'm needed up at East 79th, what's up with Flack today?'' I ask Stella from across the room as I flip my phone shut. "He's not even letting me speak to him, just saying where I'm needed and hanging up.''

"Oh, you might wanna explain the whole Deacon thing to him.'' Stella says, looking a bit awkward as she test fires a gun into the water cage.

"What's it too Flack?'' I ask slightly puzzled, what's it got to do with Flack who my brother is?

"I think, like me, he got the wrong end of the stick.'' Stella says, fishing for the bullet from the bottom of the cage. I don't bother to question her as I leave and head for the locker room to collect my kit, I really can't be bothered with drama today.

* * *

"_Thank god you're here!'' I say as Holly walks through the door, kit in hand. Flack's been walking round like a bear with a sore head, snapping at everyone. I've made a decision. "You need to tell Flack that I'm here.'' She looks directly at me, shakes her head and walks over to Flack who's standing over the body._

"_What we got?'' She asks._

"_Stabbed in the back, vic's Eli Colefield.'' Flack's snaps, he is in such a foul mood today. I've been following him since the hospital last night, since I had nowhere else to go, he's really broken up, he needs to know I'm still here, that I'm still fighting._

"_What's your problem?'' Holly asks, a slight resentment in her voice._

"_Just tell him that 'I won't flirt with the nurses'.'' I tell her, as Flack rounds on her face full of thunder._

"_Nothing,'' Flack spits. "Just do your job, and I'll do mine.'' He then proceeds to storm out of the room._

"_What's his problem?'' She whispers to me, as to not be overheard by the uniforms at the door._

"_Look, he needs to know. He deserves to know.'' I change the subject, Flack's just in a bad mood because of the whole Deacon thing. "Tell him that 'I won't flirt with the nurses'.'' _

"_Yeah, because he's not going to find that odd at all,'' she snaps at me. Damn is something in the air today; is everyone in a bad mood? "I'm not going to flirt with the nurses, get real Danny.''_

"_Fine, tell him that I'm still here, whatever I don't care.'' I keep talking, I can see I'm annoying her but I don't care._

"Just shut up.'' I whisper back to Danny, why does he have to be so annoying? Why is Flack taking his bad mood out on me?

"_Tell him, 'I'd live forever on beer, chips and hockey'.''_

"Tell him your god damn self.''

"_Tell him that just because he never told his father, he knew he loved him.''_

"Danny just shut up about parents yeah?'' I'm still trying to process the scene an hour later, and Danny is still going on at me, but at least the uniforms have moved from the door and I can speak louder than I whisper to him.

"_Just tell him.''_

"Shut up!'' I shout at him, at the most inappropriate moment. Flack has just walked through the door as I shout 'shut up' to, from his point of view, an empty room. He looks quite taken back as I'm stood there, not too sure what to do myself. "Flack, I…'' I tail off as he takes off back down the hall of house, I quickly follow, practically running in the ME who I direct to the room to collect the body. I find Flack out alone by his car. "Flack, let me explain.''

"You know what Holly, just leave me alone.'' He snaps in my face.

"_Tell him now, say 'every so often some comes along who steals your heart, and all you can hope for is that you or nobody else screws it up, because life after losing that person is like the world without the sun, pointless and worthless'.''_

Damn it Danny if he smacks me one or has me locked up I'm taking it out on you. "Every so often some comes along who steals your heart, and all you can hope for is that you or nobody else screws it up, because life after losing that person is like the world without the sun, pointless and worthless'' The words fall out of my mouth, I see the look of absolute horror on his face.

"I don't know how the hell you know that,'' he angrily whispers, "but if you think you're being funny screwing with me, you picked the wrong day.''

_Oh he is not taking this well. "The tattoo, he has a tattoo, only got it a few days before I was hit.'' _

"You have a tattoo,'' I whisper, Flack's temper is actually beginning to scare me, he's right up in my face. "You got it a few days before Danny's accident.''

"_A small tribal symbol between his shoulder blades, means peace and protection.'' _

"A small tribal symbol, between your shoulder blades meaning peace and protection.'' Flack's looking confused and angry, if looks could kill I think I'd be six feet under.

"You need to shut up and back off.'' He spits at me, he's practically got me pinned against the wall now where I've back up to get him out of my face.

"_There's no need to blame himself, I'm glad it's me not him, and tell him thank you for looking after my Montana for me.''_

"He says don't blame yourself, that he's glad it's him not too, and thank you for looking after his Montana for him.'' I have no idea who Montana is, but Flack's face is hard to read, apart from the anger and confusion, I can't tell if he believes me.

"Just stay away from me,'' he says, turning back to his car, practically ripping the door off in anger and speeding away from me. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes; I think I've just made the biggest mistake of my life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to the reviewers, although I'm sure that more people would love too do it, so please do! Even its just 'I like the story/ I hate it'! At least then I would know the general view, constructive criticism is always welcome too! A big thanks to ImaSupernaturalCSI, who thought of the questions that Flack wants to know, which are way better than what I was thinking of! Thanks for reading! Also to anyone who does review, I'm away for a few days and I will reply to all reviews when I return!**

* * *

Tears are slipping silently down my cheeks; I've managed to spend the rest of the day doing my best to avoid any sort of contact with anyone, especially Flack. Luckily, he has been avoiding me too, and I've managed to make it through the day without crying or breaking down, but now that I'm back in my apartment the tears are free flowing. I'm sat curled up on my couch, drinking my beer and trying my best to calm down. "Please don't cry Holly.'' He pleads trying to rub my arm in a soothing way. 

"This is your fault.'' I say, trying not to completely break down. "I told you telling him would be no good….he hates me…and now the whole lab is going to think I'm crazy.''

"_I don't think he hates you.'' I say, why is she getting so upset that Flack might hate her? I think I may have really screwed things up. There's a loud banging on the door, Holly wipes the tears from her cheeks, straightens her shirt up, brushes the hair off her face as she walks to the door._

I open the door, trying to get my breathing control as I come face to face with Flack, who's clenching his jaw, his eyes still full of anger. He doesn't speak but roughly pushes past me into my apartment.

"Flack, I need to…'' I start but he turns on me and gives me a glare to keep quiet and continues to survey the kitchen and living room in silence. It's killing me that he can't even look at me, or speak to me, and truth be told I know don't know why, I've only known him a few weeks and I know that nothing could ever happen between us, but for some reason in my head Flack's view of me is important. And at the moment, all I can see is pure anger.

"I wanna know how you know,'' he says, it's very controlled like he's stopping himself from screaming very word. "Because it's been going round in my head and I don't understand how you could know.''

The words become stuck in my throat; this is going to be harder to explain to him than it was to explain to myself. "The thing is…ever since I came here…''

"What? You've been spying on me?'' That's it, he's lost the control he had when he walked in, shouting at me from across the room, hands thrown in the air. "Or maybe before you came here? How long for? You can't know what you know!''

"_Flack, please calm down.'' I say, I can see that Flack is losing control, I've never seen him fully lose it before, and I think there might be a massive chance it may happen now._

"I haven't been spying on you,'' I say quietly walking past him, sitting on my couch placing my head in my hands. How do I explain this? "I've been seeing things…I've been seeing Danny…he's right here.''

It takes him a while to process this information, "you're kidding me right?'' he laughs, very sarcastically. "You're sick you know that? You wanna know what I've been through with Danny? What the team has been through?'' He runs his hand through his hair. "You stay away from me, you stay away from the team.'' He points a finger menacingly at me.

"_So what I just quit?'' She asks, they are staring at each other._

"_You quit, you go back to Boston, the other side of the world I really don't care.'' Flack shouts at her. "You're a sick and twisted person.'' He starts to make his way to the door._

"_He needs proof,'' I say, Holly's eyes flick in my direction, as she stands and turns to face Flack._

"_Ask me something only Danny would know.'' She shouts as he rips open the door._

"I'm not playing any part in your twisted game.'' He continues to shout at me, standing in the doorway, but not making a move to go, I can see a debate in his eyes, he wants to test me.

"Anything you want, if I fail I'll be the first to pack my stuff.'' I give him an ultimatum, he tightens his face up, as he slams the door shut.

"Anything?'' He asks, "fine,'' he takes a few seconds to think through his thoughts. "When did me and Danny first grab a beer?''

_I smile at the memory, trust Flack to remember this. "We were fifteen, I raided Louie's beer supply, we got so drunk that Flack vomited all over my Ma's carpet, and we spent the next morning scrubbing it out with massive headaches, before my folks got home.''_

I repeat the story to Flack, a look of horror on his face as I finish. He re-clenches his jaw, narrowing his eyes at me. "Who broke the window?''

_I actually laugh out loud, "damn it, it was you Flack, you should have caught it, it was the world's softest pitch, I never got that Nun's screaming out of my ears, they were ringing for days.''_

"Sounds like it's his fault, but he's blaming you, says you should have caught the pitch, and the nun was screaming at, his ears were ringing for ages.'' Once again there seems to be a dawned of realisation on his face, which he once again hides by tightening all his facial muscles.

"What happened that night?'' He asks, I once again flick my eyes to Danny who's standing right next to Flack.

"What night? Trust you to say something like that.'' Danny laughs, playfully shoving Flack in the shoulder. Flack must have felt it, because his right shoulder is slightly forced back taking him by surprise, I get a shocked look on his face as he surveys the space next to him and then back to me.

"What the hell was that?'' He asks, doing another scan of the room looking for something.

"_Me, idiot.'' I continue to playfully hit Flack, it's kinda funny to watch him as he keeps looking round trying to see where the hits are coming from. "Dance for me Flack.'' I laugh, kicking his feet lightly so he moves them._

"_Danny stop.'' Holly says, her arms wrap protectively around herself as Flack continues to move as I playfully hit him, nothing hard, I've learnt my lesson from that._

"_Not until he tells me.'' I answer, and I start to flick his earlobes. "He's gotta accept I'm here.''_

Flack keeps moving his head, slapping his ears as Danny continues to flick his ears. If this wasn't such a serious situation I would be laughing my head off. "He wants you to tell him to stop.'' I say quietly.

Flack shoots me a look; like that's the last thing he's going to do. As Danny begins to tickle him, I've never seen anyone jump so much at being tickled. He jerks forward, trying to keep a straight face when he obviously wants to laugh but is too freaked out. "Fine, Danny pack it in.'' He says to the open space, he's not really looking in the right direction but I'll give him credit that he's at least accepting the possibility Danny could be here. He turns back to me, "if it's him,'' he takes a deep breath, "what were my first thoughts of you?'' He looks me square in the eyes.

"_You had just come out of your interview with Mac,'' I start, Holly's eyes flick to mine, a slight shake of her head, she must've seen him when he saw her. "Yeah, he saw you then, little sneak wanted to see who was in the running for the position.''_

"_You saw me after me interview,'' she says, both of them are now staring at each other, not in hatred either which is way more comfortable than Flack staring daggers at her._

"_He thought you had the prettiest eyes ever, but you had terrible fashion sense with your shirt.''_

"_You thought I had the prettiest eyes… but seriously? You didn't like my shirt?'' She asks, a smile playing on her lips, Flack's mouth drops open in shock. "I love that shirt.''_

"_And he thought…he thought…'' the words stick in my throat, I'm gonna really be in the shit for this when she realises what I've done. "He thought you were the girl he wanted to marry.'' I mumble, shoving my hands uncomfortably in my pockets and staring at the ground._

The words are still flouting round my head. "You thought I was the girl you wanted to marry…wait,'' it's not until I say them that it sticks, why would Flack want to marry me, when he's gay… "He's not gay is he?'' I ask Danny, who is refusing to look at me.

"Gay? What do you mean gay?'' Flack asks, looking between me and a space where he assumes Danny is, although he's about four feet out.

"No…'' Danny mumbles, "But I only said it because…''

"Oh my god Danny!'' I practically shouting at him, Flack is now staring at me oddly but I don't care. "How could you?''

"_I needed you to help me,'' I start but she's beginning to pace angrily in front of her couch, "I would have told you in the end.''_

"_Told me in the end? When you knew how upset I was?'' She shouting at me, her hands balled up into fists. "I cannot believe you Danny, who the hell are you to interfere like that?''_

"_What do you mean?'' Flack asks, he seems to be calming down, although still confused at the whole situation. "He told you I was gay didn't he?'' He asks, pointing to a space to my left._

"Yeah, he did, the git did, just after the Kennedy case.'' I spit at Danny, I cannot believe the cheek of him. "And in case you were wondering, he was the one who kicked your legs out from under you, in an effort to get me to accept he was there.'' Flack's now gawping at me.

_There's a lot of noise as they both start to shout at me, Flack asking how I could be so stupid and Holly still asking how I do it. "Whoa the pair of you shut up?'' I shout, only Holly stops with my request as Flack continues to shout, but quickly falls silent along with Holly. "I'm sorry ok, I'm sorry.'' _

"I'm so angry with you I can barely look at you,'' I say, he may have just mucked up any chance that Flack and I may have had. "I'm sorry Flack.'' I look directly at his eyes, being determined not to look at Danny. "I should have just told you from the start.''

Flack gives a subtle shrug, "I could really do with a beer.'' He sighs, I nod, grabbing one from the fridge and passing it to him. He gives a slight chuckle to himself.

"What?'' I ask, retrieving my own beer from the coffee table.

"The only thing I was worried about this morning was that…well…you were with Deacon Matthews, and now I find out that Danny is haunting you.'' He laughs, what is it with people and thinking I'm with Deacon!

I reach over and grab a photo frame, one only recently unpacked a couple of days ago, it's only taken me over a month to fully unpack. "Deacon,'' I start handing over the photo to Flack who takes it, staring at the photo. "Is my brother,'' Flack raises an eyebrow in surprise. "My adopted brother, ok? I'm adopted, Deac's adopted, my other brothers Charlie and James are adopted,'' I say pointing them out in the photo.

_Flack mouths a slight 'oh', he's looking a bit embarrassed. Not even I knew she was adopted, maybe I should have paid more attention to her photos, I've spent enough time here, why have I never noticed?_

"_I just don't shout about it,'' Holly says taking another swig of beer._

_Flack is once again laughing to himself, "Deacon Matthews was in the lab, oh my god.'' Holly is laughing along with him, obviously the rumours of Flack's massive Ranger fan status have reached her ears. "And I didn't even get to meet him.''_

"_I'm sure we could arrange something,'' she smiles, oh brilliant, I'm back to loser style flirting. It was better when they were shouting at each other._

"_Can I come?'' I ask jokingly, Holly shoots me a look that screams 'I'm not speaking to you'._

Hours later, I've explained everything that had happened between Danny and I, everything we tried, every failed attempted. Danny, luckily, was taking more of a back seat, only interrupting me every so often, having grabbed a beer for himself, which had freaked Flack out as the fridge opened by itself. Flack's getting ready to leave; as we both have early shifts in the morning.

"So, maybe we can grab that coffee tomorrow,'' Flack says a cheeking glint in his eyes.

"I think we should.'' I smile back, the hatred of the day forgotten.

"And Danny,'' he looks, amazingly exactly where Danny is stood, putting the best surprised look on Danny's face I have ever seen. "When you wake up from this, me and you are gonna have a little chat.'' He smiles at me, gently closing the door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's the next bit! As usual, thank you to everyone who's been reading, please please review! This chapter took me a while to think of, which is why there has been a delay with it, and hopefully we're going to push the connection subject in the next chapter.. Thanks again, and please review!**

* * *

"So how's our little friend doing?'' Flack asks me, taking a seat opposite me in the café across the street from the crime lab. This is our fifth coffee of the week, it only took us four weeks to get here, and now we seem to be on a roll of our fifth day in a row of meeting for coffee. And that's about it. We never have time to make it anything more, dinner? No. Anywhere that doesn't involve coffee? No. Food in any form? Ok, a yes to that, Flack is like an eating machine, he's already tucking into a pastry before I've had a chance to reply. 

"_I'm fine buddy,'' I reply, flicking Flack's earlobe, for some reason this is now my customary greeting for Flack now, just to let him know I'm here. He shakes his head is response to the flick, giving me a nod, well he's nodded to an empty space but I appreciate the gesture._

"Still here,'' I sigh, stirring my coffee, watching as Danny tries to steal bits of Flack's pastry off his plate, not a move I'd make, Flack gives the space where Danny is sitting a look to keep off as his pastry continues to move. "Apparently he's hungry.''

"Yeah, well he can get his own.'' He answers, smacking the plate as Danny makes another move for the food, only to create a lot of noise as his hand falls through Danny's causing the plate to jump noisily on the table, getting us many curious looks.

_I laugh as a couple of surrounding customers give them odd looks, "ask him if he saw the game last night.''_

"_He wants to know if you saw the game?'' Holly asks, sounding slightly more tired than usual. I know that she's been putting in long hours at the lab, today however she looks like she's even more frustrated and tired than usual, I think everything is beginning to get on top of her._

He tilts his head to the side, giving me a concerned look as I rub my nose in tiredness. "What's up?'' He asks, ignoring Danny's question.

"Nothing,'' I answer, not really meeting his eyes.

"You're kinda a bad liar you know,'' he responses, dipping his head so that his eye line catches mine. "Look me in the eye and say that again.''

"It just feels like I don't stop anymore,'' I answer flicking some stray hairs off my face. "I think at one point I had a life, but since I moved here, I'm either at the lab, trying to help Danny or sleeping, even then I don't get much of that.'' I can't remember the last time I slept for more than six hours without being woken up with a phone call or something else. "I mean, we haven't even managed to get out of this place.'' I gesture to the café, "I just don't know what to do anymore.''

"You been bothering her Messer?'' Flack asks, looking to his left where Danny is nibbling on a bit of stolen pastry, I often wonder at what point the food disappears in his hands, because no-one has ever given me an odd look as food floats and then disappears, but I don't even have the energy to work it out.

"_No!" Why is he blaming me, it's not my fault she's been getting the rubbish shift patterns, and been on-call all week is it? Ok, so I might have been slightly annoying recently, but does anyone think I'm happy with the situation? I'm frustrated more than her, she's still acknowledged by the world, I don't get to talk to who I want, when I want. I don't get to do what I want, I can't work, I'm stuck in constant limbo, sooner we find this connection the better._

"It's not Danny's fault,'' I say wearily, "he's just as frustrated as me.'' I notice the look on Danny's face; he's feeling it just as hard as I am.

"I know,'' Flack answers, taking my and in his, rubbing it soothingly with his thumb. "You have tonight off right?''

"I'm meant too be,'' this is very much in doubt with the way things are going recently, the new girl tag is firmly stuck around my neck, bad shifts, disgusting cases, and being on-call most of the time. I know that the lab is one person short, with Lindsay still being absent as well as Danny, and everyone is pitching in, only I'm still trying to impress new bosses, which means taking extra shifts when they're offered.

"Let me take care of that,'' he answers, as his pager begins to beep. "I'll pick you up at seven, Danny you can have my place to yourself.'' He adds as he leaves.

* * *

"Oh my god Flack…'' I breathed as I surveyed the scene. We had just stepped off a small ferry, on to the Statue of Liberty pier, light by hundreds of twinkle lights, a small table situated by the water. 

"Don't get too excited, we do not leave the pier.'' Flack says as he takes my hand leading me too the table. "I called in a few favours, but this was as close as we can get, personally I wanted dinner in her head…but I can't eat where there's been a murder.''

I laugh lightly, I think everyone in the country has heard about the murder in the Statue of Liberty, it made a big enough stain on the face. "What's with the armed guards?'' I ask, noticing two men at the end of the pier with machine guns watching us.

"That is in case we try to steal the statue on our return journey,'' he laughs, taking my coat. "You know, if I shove it under my coat when we get back on the boat.''

"Obviously,'' I laugh. "Flack, I have to say I'm very impressed.'' I once again took in my surroundings.

"Well, I figured, how many New Yorkers have been to the Statue?'' he asks, handing me a glass of champagne. "And I wanted to make it special, seems like you deserve a treat.''

This wasn't what I'd been expecting when he said he'd sort out tonight, I was thinking movie? Dinner? Not dinner on the Statue of Liberty, thankfully I'd dressed up in a strapless black dress that flared slightly at the bottom, complimenting Flack's smart black suit.

"So Matthews, what to be impressed even more?'' Flack asks me, standing up and taking my hand after we've eaten, which he even had the security guards bring over heated up as well.

"Flack I don't think I could handle it.'' I smile, as he presses a button on a cd player, which begins to softly play Frank Sinatra's 'The Way You Look Tonight', he gently spins me round as we begin to dance. "You can dance as well?''

"I know, it's a curse I must say.'' He smiles, placing his hands on my waist drawing me closer. "It's a cross I'm willing bear though.'' I can feel his breathe tickling my skin on the side of my face.

"If this is what you do for a first date, what do you do for a second?'' I ask, as we continue to dance.

"So I get a second?'' He asks, rising his eyebrow. I smile in response, damn right he gets a second. Flack dips me with the music, bringing me back up so were practically nose to nose, there's about a second's pause as Flack looks directly into my eyes, it feels like he's looking into my soul, as he leans in and captures my lips with his. He kisses me softly, with just the right amount of passion. I think I've hit the jackpot; the guy can dance, romance and kiss. As I wrap my arms round his shoulders pulling him in closer so he can deepen the kiss, at that moment there's no-one else in the world but me, Flack and Frank Sinatra surrounded by the twinkling lights of the city.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey, Im very sorry that this has taken so long to update, but I've had a ton of essays to sort. Thanks to the reviewers and those who've been reading! Much appreicated!

* * *

"No, David Pollard?''

"No, Kelsey Jenkins?''

No, Sherry Richards?''

"No, Marshy Kadd?'' I ask, looking over at Danny who's on the sofa opposite me, we're going through our address books and contacts trying to see if there's any person in common who could be our 'connection', its now the only thing that we can think of.

"_You seriously know someone called Marshy Kadd?'' I laugh, what a weird name._

"_I used have biology with her.'' She sighs, turning another page in her contact book._

"Emma Kingston?'' I continue down a new page, as someone knocks on my front door.

"Hey,'' Flack says as I open the door, giving me a peck on the cheek as he passes me a bunch of sunflowers. "Thought you deserved this after today.'' He says, referring to a rape case that I've dealt with today, I think it's a serial but I have no evidence to connect it to another crime, it was just too clean for my liking to be a first time affair. But dealing with the victim and family really took it out of me, the girl looked like the double of my sister-in-law Kate when she was younger, I just wanted to get her justice, but he's going to get away with it unless he slips up.

"Oh thanks Flack, they're beautiful.'' I say, smelling the flowers as he enters to my apartment. "You fancy a beer?'' I ask as I set the flowers on the counter, looking about for a vase.

"Sure,'' he answers, being engrossed at looking at everything in my apartment. "Danny?'' He asks, always slightly dubious at asking an invisible person for a response.

"_Flack.'' I get up and gently flick his left ear. He moves his head in response, nodding in my direction. I sit back down and start flicking through my book, "oh well he's dead.'' I murmur to myself, picking up a pen and crossing out 'Freddy Shaker'. I hear a sudden in take of breathe from Flack who is now glaring at the pen in my hand. "He's seeing this?'' I call over to Holly who's approaching us, three beers in her hands._

"You can see the pen?'' I ask, handing Flack a beer, who if only on instinct clenches his fingers round the bottle as I place it in his hand. He nods, still has his eyes locked on the pen. "He's just crossing out names.'' I take a drink of beer, as Danny begins to move the pen around, which must look like to Flack like the pen is floating in mid air.

"What are you guys doing?'' He asks, sounding slightly distracted as Danny begins to draw on a spare piece of paper I have laying on the coffee table.

"Going through address books, seeing if we have anyone in common, still trying to figure out if it's a person.'' I say retaking my seat on sofa, placing the spare beer on the table for Danny.

"Anything?''

"Nothing, not even a little known link, we've had completely separate lives.'' I sigh, as Danny finishes off his message.

'_Flack owes me $20' I push the paper towards Flack, he laughs and shakes his head._

"_I don't!" He laughs, grabbing the pen off the table, writing his own message back. 'Danny is an ugly git'._

"_I can't believe that the first message you guys give each other are demands for money, then insults.'' Holly smiles, as I write 'Flack is fat' back._

"What else are you thinking for this connection then? Maybe you've worked the same case?'' Flack asks, snorting at the note that Danny has just written.

"No, I've only worked in Boston, Danny's only worked in New York, doubtful that we've crossed paths. But even if we have, how many cases have we both worked? Hundreds? How do we go through every last witness and suspect?'' I sighed.

"You not think it's me?'' Flack smiles.

"Hello, spirit gods? Is Flack our connection?'' I ask the ceiling, I feel no different and Danny is now staring intently at the ceiling, "nah, I think you're just a bystander.''

"What about your family?'' Flack continues, taking a deep drink of beer.

"No, nothing, part from Danny knowing who Deacon is, but so does half of New York.'' I laugh.

"I meant your real family.''

"Real family?'' I'm a bit taken back at this, I hadn't even considered it, I just think of Deacon and the guys as my family, no-one else.

"Like your real parents?'' Flack says quite quietly leaning back into the sofa, not knowing how to take it after my tone of voice.

"Well we're screwed then.'' I smile sadly. Flack takes my hand in his comfortingly, letting his head fall to the side in confusion, his eyes urging me to explain. "I don't know who they are,'' I explain, "I was a dump job.''

"_That sucks.'' I had never asked about Holly's real parents, she doesn't seem to like talking about it, mustn't be fun to know that you weren't wanted from the start, and then not know who didn't want you._

"I was, err, found by Saint Andrew's church.'' I continue, I'm finding it hard to look at Flack, I haven't talked about this to anyone but my brothers. "Under, ironically, a holly bush, the nurses at the hospital were very imaginative in naming me.'' I take another drink of beer. "My folks liked the name, kept it, and that's all I know.''

"_I'm sorry Holly.'' Both Flack and I say at the same time, there seems to be an erring silence taking over the room as no-one says anything._

"_Yeah, well, it's nothing new, can we talk about something else?'' She asks fiddling with a bracelet on her wrist._

"_How bout your family Dan?'' Flack asks, his eyes however remain on Holly as she does her best to concentrate on peeling the label from her beer bottle._

"_You ever heard of Marie or Joseph Messer?'' I ask, she shakes her head in response._

"_Louie Messer?'' Flack asks, there seems to a flash of recognition behind her eyes._

"_Hasn't everyone on the Island heard of Louie Messer?'' She asks looking at me, "You're related to Louie Messer?'' I nod, "wow, it's just, you're a cop, and Louie was part of, well you know, Tanglewood.'' _

"_Yeah, well if it is him, then we're screwed again,'' I sigh, as Holly shots me a confused look, "He died a few years ago.''_

"_This is useless,''_

Beep…Beep…Beep. Flack groggily put a hand out to grab the offending object that was making the noise. It was early, he didn't know what time it was but he knew it was early, he could sense that sort of thing. His eyes cracked open trying to find the phone; he could feel Holly laying next to him her head resting gently on his shoulder arm placed lightly on his chest. He reached out, trying not to fall off the couch as he felt around for phone on the table; how that beeping wasn't waking her he didn't know. Finally his fingers encompassed the vibrating cell; he flicked it open and placed it next to his ear. "This had better be good.'' He said sleepily.

"Who's this?'' A male voice came on the line.

"Flack you ass, do you know the time? What do you want? I'm not in till midday, I'm not coming in.'' Flack continued rubbing his eyes, trying to get some sleep out of them.

"Flack?'' The voice sounded confused. "This is Holly Matthews's phone right?'' The voice seemed to trial off. It suddenly dawned on Flack that he had answered the wrong phone.

"Oh right…'' Flack said quietly, looking to his left where Holly still lay sleeping. "Erm can I take a message?''

"No, you put her on the phone right now.'' The voice said in commanding tone.

"She's asleep.'' Flack continued, trying to move off the couch without disturbing her.

"You telling me you slept with my sister?'' The voice said, getting slightly angry.

"No…well I slept next to her…but we didn't sleep together.'' Flack spluttered. "Is this Deacon?'' He asked, slightly hopeful that it was.

"Actually, it's Charlie.''

* * *

I felt my support fall from under me, as my face pressed into the couch. I stretched my back out feeling it click back into place, my eyes flick open a couple of times adjusting to the light within the room. I notice Flack standing in the living room phone pressed to his ear, looking slightly dishevelled with his creased clothes, we must have fallen asleep on the couch last night; the TV is still on quietly in the background. I pull myself up into the sitting position rubbing my nose, noticing that Flack's phone is still on the table whereas mine is missing.

"I…err…I dunno…about a month?'' Flack was saying, looking very uncomfortable as he notices that I'm awake. "Oh she's up…I'll just pass you over…'' He holds the phone out to me; I gratefully take it as his head drops in embarrassment scratching the back of his hair.

"Hello?'' I say into the mouthpiece. 

"Oh, baby sister.'' I hear Charlie's voice, sounding half way between confused and annoyed. "Who's Flack?''

"Hi Charlie,'' I say, this is why Flack looked so embarrassed and confused, getting twenty questions from Charlie. "Where are you?''

"Delhi,'' He answers quickly, "do I have to come back right now and do some ass kicking?''

"No, you don't.'' I turn quickly and head for my bedroom. "Charlie, don't freak out.''

"Freak out? Holly some random guy answers your phone at…'' there's a pause as he tries to work out the time difference, "6 am, and you think that I should remain calm?''

"So now you work out the time difference?'' I ask, offended that Charlie is taking this tact. "Flack is not some random guy.''

"Then who is he? And why I'm I just hearing about him now?'' He sounds like he's like he's getting angrier by the second.

"You're in India, you have no signal!'' I raise my voice down the phone in response to his tone. "Plus how many times did some random girl answer your phone to me?''

"Not the point,'' he starts, I can hear him change positions in the background noise, "who he is?''

"He's a detective from work ok?'' I sigh, taking a seat on the end of my bed.

"So he's in the police?''

"Tends to happen when you're a detective.''

"You seeing him?''

"I guess, kinda.''

"You sleeping with him?''

"Charlie! I cannot believe you're asking me that!'' I practically shout down the phone, "It's none of your business if I'm sleeping with him, in fact I could have just had the best sex of my life with bondage and everything and it would still have nothing to do with you!''

"Wow, I think half of Delhi heard you.'' He laughs, oh my god Flack! No, no, no, he did not just hear that. I make my way back to the living room, where he's thankfully he's making coffee although he's not facing me. "So fine, you're not sleeping with him,'' Charlie continued, thankfully he's dropped the attitude although I'm not really listening to him. "I was wondering, before I was side tracked with the bondage clad detective, if maybe sorta you'd wire me some money?'' He asks, kinda sheepishly.

"Charlie, how can you have spent all your money? It's deposited in your account every month?'' I ask, as Flack passes me a coffee, still not looking at me as he moves back to the living room.

"India is a big country, I gotta travel, eat, and you know,'' Charlie continues, "plus come on, I'm back in a week, I only need a couple of hundred, then we can sort it out over the brilliant yawn meeting.''

"Fine, Charlie I'll sort it out before work, will $500 cover everything?'' I ask, I hear an agreeing grunt from down the line. "You'd better make it back, I'm not sitting through another board meeting without you.''

"Yeah yeah, plane is booked for Thursday, thanks Hol, gotta go, bye love ya.'' I hear the line disconnect with a click. I snap my phone shut, take a gulp of coffee and follow Flack's path back to the couch.

"I'm sorry bout that, Charlie is a little, well, overprotective.'' I say quietly as Flack reties his shoes.

"I'm more concerned about the bondage sex, should I be investing in some PVC gear?'' he asks with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Oh, Flack I'm sorry, oh my god, he was just going on at me.'' I say putting my head in my hands, I can't believe he heard me shouting.

"Never saw you as the kinky type.'' He continues to smile, "that why you're a detective, hand cuffs and all?''

"Flack…''

"Or that why you're interested in me? Uniform, handcuffs?'' His smile and spread to his eyes, "you know I can pull off the stripper-gram look.''

"How do you know?'' I laugh, "when have you ever dressed as a stripper?''

He gives a seductive smile at me, letting me know that there's definitely a dark secret behind those beautiful blue eyes, as he leans in over my position on the sofa so his lips are only inches from mine. "Matthews, you're not the only kinky one.'' He whispers, moving in and kissing me, after a few moments we pulled apart as my phone begins to ring again. I give a sigh, as he places a final kiss on my forehead giving me a look that we'll catch up later on, I lean over and open my phone as Flack heads for the door.

"Matthews,''

"Who the hell is Flack?'' I hear James's voice from down the phone, Charlie is so dead…


	11. Chapter 11

**Hope everyone enjoys this chapter, and big thank you to everyone who's reviewed the previous ones and enjoyed! This has been a bit difficult to write, but I think I've got it how I wanted it! I have to say that the first bit is just so I can hug Adam, I love the guy so much! I wish he'd get more air time! And to those who spot it...well done! Please Review!**

* * *

"I cannot believe its still snowing.'' I muse from the break room window, it's only mid October, but snow has been falling for the past day or so. We were told to expect a cold snap after the beautiful September we had experienced, but I wasn't expecting snow, even if the city looked prettier in a fresh blanket of pure white snow.

"I know, I hate snow.'' Adam mumbles from behind me, giving the outside world a disgruntled look as if the snow has somehow offended him. Adam and I have managed to bond over the past month, having both being caught by Mac dancing in the AV lab whilst listening to the recordings from a recording studio where the producer had been strangled to death. Now we were both stuck on a gangland killing spree that was taking over Central Park, Adam had been grumbling through the whole scene, wrapped in about three coats, scarf and hat as well as knitted gloves underneath his latex ones to protect himself against the cold.

"Really, Adam you'd never guess.'' I smiled, stirring my coffee, continuing to stare out of the window, enjoying the watching the snow fall. "Why do you hate snow so much?''

"_He hates being cold.'' I say, also watching the snow, it feels too early for snow, we haven't even had Halloween yet. I want to be back for Halloween, try and get off for it for once, and shot the local kids with silly string from my apartment window like I used too._

"It's cold, living in Phoenix the closest I got to cold was going to the freezer, its not natural to be this cold.'' He answers.

"I love it, makes you feel like a kid again.'' To this I receive a wall of silence. "You alright Adam?'' I ask, noticing the lack of response.

"_Don't mention being a kid to him, I don't think he had a happy childhood.'' I say seriously as Adam's face changes._

"Yeah I'm fine,'' he answers, although I can see a sad look on his face.

"I'm sorry Adam…'' I start as both Hawkes and Flack enter the break room.

"Get your coat, we gotta a suspect.'' Flack says, holding out a folder for me to take. We both agreed that we were to keep our relationship at work professional, Flack having regaled me with tales of him walking in on Danny and Lindsay in compromising positions, and I didn't want that tag on me so early in my NYPD career.

"Nathan Kempner.'' I read off the top of the sheet. "Where do we find this Nathan?''

"We get to play in the park, I know his crew hang out round by central park.'' Flack smiles.

"If we're lucky we might be able to build a snowman.'' Hawkes says brightly at Flack as Flack's eyes dart to the window looking overly excited by the snow too. "Don't worry Adam, you can stay here.'' He adds as both he and Flack begin to make their way out, "Mac…'' I hear him shout down the hall, trying to get his attention.

"See you later, Adam.'' I gather my coat from its drying place by the heating grate, as I pass I wrap an arm around Adam's shoulders, attempting to give a comforting half hug. He smiles in response but doesn't say anything as I leave the room and follow the others.

"What's up with that?'' Flack asks me as I catch both him and Hawkes, who's talking to Mac in front of us.

"Sometimes, everyone needs a hug.''

* * *

"Ok, I'll admit its cold.'' I say, stamping my feet crushing more freshly fallen snow into the ground, trying to create some warmth in my legs. Luckily the snow has lightened, with only a few flakes descending around us as we continue into the park.

"Matthews, you sound like Adam.'' Flack laughs, signalling for two of the uniforms to talk the other path around the children's play area where our gang of suspects is currently residing. Our troop, consisting of me, Flack, Hawkes, Mac and Danny, who admittedly only Flack and I know is there, continue on the path to the main gate of the fence that encloses the area, and walk up to the gang.

"Nathan Kempner?'' Flack shouts to the group, grabbing their attention, several quickly stand up from their position on various swings and benches. I count eight, which is useful considering there are eight of us, I see several dart glances at a twenty something guy, who approaches us in a cocky swaggering manner.

"Yes?''

"NYPD.'' Flack hasn't even flashed his badge as the gang takes off in different directions, Mac taking down Nathan has he takes a swing at him, Hawkes tackling another as he tries to dodge round us. Uniforms are grabbing the ones who are running towards the back gate, another two are running to the nearest fence as Flack and I follow, both simultaneously vaulting the fence. "Take the short one.'' Flack shouts at me, as the taller one rounds a corner to the left, and I'm left chasing the shorter perp who's wearing a luminous green jacket, meaning that I literally won't lose him if the snow becomes heavier again. I'm glad that I wore my trainers, having soaked my other shoes from the crime scene this morning Mac had allowed me to wear them in case they did decide to run. I push on, as we run down some stone steps as Flack's target cuts in front of us from a side path Flack pushing him to ground shouting cusses at the guy, causing my guy to slow up a bit to let them pass him meaning that I can catch up with him, we descend another set of steps and start across another snow-clad path, and I get close enough to tackle my guy forcing him to the left. I feel the shock as we collide with the ground and skid across ice, I lose my grip on him and he slides further than me. I try to catch my breath as he slips trying to get up and I manage to pick myself up and slam him into the ground.

"Seriously, why run?'' I pant, trying to hold him down as he struggles against me, it's then that I hear ice crack beneath us. I look up to see Flack and others have gathered at the edge of the path all with horrified looks on their faces.

"Don't move!'' I hear Mac shout at us, as my guy makes another bid for freedom, causing me to force him back down, creating another ominous crack. "You're on the lake.'' He shouts, I look around to notice that we are on smooth slightly snow covered ice, that stretches out from the section where the others are standing.

"Will you pack it in?'' I ask the guy, getting annoyed that he is still trying to throw me off him as I begin to panic that we're stuck on frozen water, which by the sounds of it, isn't frozen enough to handle our weight. We're only about ten feet from the others but it's too far for them to reach. "We're on the lake.''

"What? Can't pigs swim?'' He laughs menacingly. Throwing his weight back into me so that he lands on the ice with more force than usual. I'm once again forced to try to slam him down with my weight to stop him from getting away. The ice begins to crack even more and I can see them edge their way out from under us and towards to edge. My breathing increases as I realise what is about to happen, I give one final look up to Flack as there's a loud creak and support from beneath me gives way.

"_No!'' Both Flack and I shout as the two figures disappear through the ice and into the water. Flack makes a bid to go in after them, but is held back by Mac who's giving orders for buses and back up to the uniforms who remain frozen in their position around the water. I breathe a sigh of relief as two heads emerge back into the air from the icy water._

Damn this hurts, the water quickly penetrated through my clothes and his attacking my body. It feels like a thousand knifes are stabbing my skin, my breathe catches in my chest which feels like it's about to explode with the pain. Somehow I begin to kick, even though every part of me wants to curl up into a ball to decrease the space that the water can get to me. And my head manages to break through the surface.

"_Holly!'' Flack is screaming from the side, pushing Mac aside as he tries to put a foot on a piece of ice that is still intact, but breaks off under his weight._

"_Flack, I can't afford for you to go in as well.'' Mac shouts at him, pulling him back. There's nothing they can do as we're forced to watch as the perp tries to swim over to another edge of the ice and climb out._

No way in hell is he getting away, a voice in my head screams as I notice my guy trying to lift himself out of the water onto another section of ice. I also make way over and drag him back, forcing him back into the water.

"_Holly!'' Hawkes is shouting, "Let him go, we'll get him, get out of the water!'' She's not paying attention as she pulls him back into the water, there's a massive splash and they both disappear back under the water. Flack is fighting against Mac to get into the water, and the uniforms are screaming into radios. They both re-emerge looking exhausted gasping for breathe in the cold air; they're only a couple of feet from us now._

"_Bitch.'' The guy shouts, placing a forceful punch to the side of Holly's face as she tries to force him to the edge._

He just hit me! What the hell? I feel the contact throw me to the side and back under the water. The pain in my chest is now compounded with pain in my check, and it's getting harder to swim with the weight of my waterlogged clothes, my muscles are screaming at me to stop.

_The force of the punch pushes the guy further towards us and Flack manages to grab the back of jacket and rip him from the water, placing his own punch on his left eye, shouting random insults at him as Mac and uniforms try to wrestle him off. I look back to the water, where Holly's head is. "Come on.'' Hawkes is encouraging her from the edge, her swimming isn't so good anymore and most of her strength has disappeared, as she edges nearer. "Just another few inches.''_

I can see Hawkes reaching out for me, I can't breathe anymore, moving anything is a massive effort, my head feels light, I just want to stop.

"_Holly, don't you dare.'' Flack is next to Hawkes, both doing their best to reach her from the edge without falling in themselves. "Holly, for fucks sake give me your hand.'' He screams, as she sinks lower in the water._

Damn it Flack, I'm trying here, I think as he screams at me to give him my hand, I reach out again feeling for anything to grab onto.

_Flack and Hawkes grab her out stretched hand and drag her from the water, her breathing is shallow and her head falls back as Flack gathers her up into his arms and carries her away from the water towards Mac. "Hawkes, what do we do?'' He asks laying her on the snow covered ground, as Hawkes automatically goes into Doctor mode checking her pulse on her neck._

"_We need to get her out of the wet clothes.'' He says, as he starts to unbutton her coat._

What? Everything seems so distance, but I swear they're trying to undress me. I'm not stripping in Central Park.

_Holly begins to move, fighting against Hawkes undressing her. "Quit it.'' She mumbles, her eyes still shut against the cold, she sounds really weak._

"_Sorry Holly, but you're too cold, we gotta get you warm.'' Hawkes answers her, as he motions for Flack to help him. They soon get her coat off and sweater, "Flack I need you to do the same.'' Hawkes says seriously retaking Holly's pulse. Flack doesn't even argue as he too takes off his coat and jacket, unbuttoning his shirt as Holly's breathing slows. "Ok,'' Hawkes says he takes off her shirt, so she's left in just a tankini bar top, "Skin to skin contact is the best way to get her warm again.'' He says as Flack picks her up wrapping his bare chest against her body, jumping slightly at the coldness of her skin. Hawkes rewraps Flack's disguarded coat round them, doing the same with own over the top._

"_Come on Holly,'' Flack says into her soaked hair, as she remains unresponsive in his arms. I can hear sirens approaching us, and notice that Mac is shouting directions to get as close as they can. "I'm not losing you too. This is not happening again.''_

* * *

_I hated watching them wait in the hospital; it was like when I came in. Watching them wait, screaming at them that I was still there, but getting no response. There's a tight group of Mac, Hawkes and Flack surrounding her bed, blankets piled high over her body, with only the sounds of the heart monitors reverberating around the room._

_There's a light tapping at the door as Stella enters, "hey,'' she says quietly noticing the lack of noise in the room. "How's she doing?''_

"_Preliminary tests look good, her body is just in shock.'' Hawkes answers, her chart in his hands, he keeps rereading it like it is going to wield new answers. _

"_I thought you guys should know, the hospital called the office, Danny's vitals dropped this afternoon.'' She said quietly taking a seat next to Mac. "His parents are with him, but…'' She trailed off sadly. What do they mean they dropped? I feel fine, this is not good, I need to check this out._

"_Danny, you're ok.'' I open the door to my room a couple of floors above Holly's, my parents are standing over my body, which looks exactly the same as before only my breathing tube has been removed. "It's ok Danny.'' My Ma continues, gently stroking my face as tears stream down her own. "You keep fighting baby.'' She says, it feels like years since I last saw her, she has the same look on her face when Louie was like this, she can't give up hope on me. "He can't go the same way as Louie, Joe, I can't lose another baby.''_

_My father stands on the other side of the bed, he's keeping his sombre expression on his face. "We'll see what these test results say Marie.''_

"_He's my baby, Danny please baby,'' she continues to stroke my cheek. "Don't give up, you stay strong, keep fighting, I'll make you all your favourites when you come home, yeah?'' She bows her head and begins to pray under her breath. I haven't registered that my own tears are now free-falling down my face, my own mother is having to pray for my life, having to watch another son in a coma, watching him die, she shouldn't have to go through that._

_She breaks the pray as a nurse enters the room with an orderly; they explain that they need to take me to do another head CT, I can tell she's not listening to them she's too busy trying to flatten my hair by continuously stroking it, like she did when I was a kid and felt sick._

"_Is it ok to go with him?'' My Pop asks, not like him to be emotional or sentimental, I suspect he's only doing it for Ma. They agree and soon I'm following my own body being wheeled down a long corridor by the orderly and nurse, by father in stride beside me. Soon we enter the CT room my father stops in a small waiting room whilst my body is taken into a bigger room which is practically filled by the scanner itself._

"_Well, if it isn't Joe Messer.'' A harsh voice says from the side of the room, I turn to find a short dark haired woman sat in front of a control station that overlooks the scanner, various monitors surround her._

"_Carla,'' he breathes, I've never seen this woman before , how does she know him?_

"_I heard you're son was injured, didn't think it was actually serious.'' She continues as she pushes a few buttons on a control panel that's obviously connected to the scanner._

"_Carla, now is not the time.'' He gives a sad look through the window to my body. "My Danny could be brain dead.''_

"_Like father like son.'' She spits, not lifting her hands from the dials. "You're pathetic Joe, pretending to be this great family man.''_

"_Danny and Marie are all I have, it's not pretending.'' Now there's the tone I'm used to with my father. "I love my family.''_

"_Didn't love them all those years ago did you Joe? No, I remember quite well that it was me you said you loved, lying to your family Joe, sleeping with another woman, great way to show love.'' He had an affair? I always knew he was a bit dodgy, not always doing what was legal, but trying for us, even if it was only so my Ma could get a new dress for Church. How the hell could he have done that to her?_

"_It was nothing Carla, it was a stupid mistake, I've done more to make it up to them.'' He spits back at her, slamming his fist into the wall behind him. "A stupid couple of months that meant nothing.''_

"_Joe you never got it did you? You got me pregnant! I was eighteen for goods sake!" He did what? He got her pregnant? The bastard._

"_I gave you money for the abortion, what did you want? For me to leave my wife? My kids? I'm a lot of things Carla but I'd never leave them for a tart like you.''_

_She gives a horrible smile to him, which sends shivers through me. "It was too late Joe, I was too far gone.''_

"_What do you mean, too far gone?''_

"_Means I had your kid, another Messer in the world for you to feel proud of.'' She laughs cruelly, "well if she survived.'' She adds as an after thought._

"_What's that meant to mean?''_

"_I felt sick after what you did to me, I didn't want your kid as much as you did, if I could I would have gotten rid of it. I was eighteen, I had dreams, I had a life.''_

"_I meant about her surviving.'' Even he looks horrified, this woman is a psycho. But this means I have a sister…there's someone out there with my DNA._

"_I managed to get through most of it without anyone noticing, people just thought I was getting fat.'' She smiles, "when I went into labour, I just went down to the docks and hid in an abandoned warehouse. Then I took her to the Saint Andrews church and left her, maybe someone found her I never checked.''_

"_You just left her?'' He shouting at her, she really is an evil cow, even my father wouldn't do that, and at times he can be a nasty piece of work._

"_Under a bush, what was I meant to do Joe? Bring her to you? Wonder what the wife would have said to that?'' She continues to hit a few buttons on the machine. "They're taking your son,'' she motions to the nurse who's wheeling my body out of the other room. "Suggest you get back to your family.''_

_I leave the room before my father walking through the nearest door and down a well light corridor. He had an affair? He got her pregnant? She abandoned the baby? I stop and allow myself to drop down the wall so I'm sitting on the floor, too many thoughts are swirling through my head. My Ma, my poor Ma stuck with him through everything, and he did that to her? I close my eyes and slam my head into the wall, what the hell is happening? I feel so useless, so angry at everything. I need to tell her what I know, she deserves to know the truth, I need to find Holly, and I begin to make my way back through the maze of corridors when it hits me…_


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey! I know that I haven't done anything with this story in months! Actually I haven't written a thing in months, life has been up, down and round the corners! However, someone added the story the other day, and I went back to it and this is the result. I don't know about it, I might have left it too long. However please read and review and I'll take it from there!**

* * *

"Are you the team that's also with Detective Messer?'' A short nurse entered the room capturing Flack's attention, who had been staring into space along with the others. He could feel the pit of his stomach disappear; he knew that after what Stella had told them it didn't look good for Danny, and with Holly still unconscious he had no idea of knowing what was happening.

"Yes, is there any news?'' Mac asks for all of them, Flack could sense that they were all holding their breath, expecting the worst.

"Yes, the doctors wanted you to know, he's waking up.'' There was an exchange of looks around the room; the doctors had said earlier that Danny's chances had seriously dropped. Flack looked between Holly and Mac, torn between where to be, Danny was waking up, he needed to be there, but he needed to be here as well, right?

"Flack, go. We'll stay with Holly.'' Mac said, Flack let out a deep breath as he stood and ran from the room, dodging the others that remained seated. He knew the way to Danny's room, having been there too many times, taking the stairs two at a time he soon came level to the nurse's station on Danny's floor, not stopping to give his customary greetings.

* * *

_I blink against the harsh light that's attacking by eyes. My head feels like its spinning, I try to rub my forehead with my hand but it's difficult to lift, feels like it's tied down. I give a massive tug and free it from the restraints, bringing it up to my face, its then that I notice that the tubes and monitors that are attached to it. I lay my head back against the pillows, as alarms start going off as I pull off the monitors, I need to get going._

"_Hello there stranger.'' A red-headed nurse says as she enters the room. "Nice to see your pretty eyes.'' She continues as she presses some buttons around me. "You've just missed your parents, your mother said you'd do something like that.''_

_A strange noise comes out of my mouth, I know I tried to ask 'what?' but my throat feels so dry that I can't form the words. "You want a drink?'' She asks, filling a glass of water from the sink in the corner. "Gentle sips now.'' She pops a straw in and lets me take a couple of sips._

"_Need to go.'' I say, trying to get out of bed._

"_No you don't.'' She says in a firm tone, pushing me back into bed and pulling my covers over me. "You have to wait for the doctor, you've had a nasty accident, been out for a while.''_

_I lay back and wait for the doctor to come in and do an exam, several others coming in, prodding and poking me, asking me to do certain tasks. I can't tell if I'm passing these tests, but I think I'm doing everything as well as I could before. I just want out of here. There are too many thoughts swirling through my mind to concentrate on anything they're asking me._

_It's then that I hear heavy footsteps approaching down the corridor, and Flack comes through my door, panting with the effort from running. Before I've fully registered that he's there, he's wrapped his arms around me, giving me one of the biggest hugs I can ever remember. "Good to see you too Flack.'' I say patting him on the back as he refuses to let go of me. "Flack, seriously.'' He continues with his bear like hug around me, I think the nurse is getting the wrong impression here by the look on her face._

"_Don't you ever scare me like that again Messer you hear?'' His voice comes from over my shoulder, sounding slightly muffled. "We thought we'd lost you for a second there.'' He finally releases me, taking a seat on the side of my bed, he looks slightly terrible, his face looks pale and I swear his eyes look red, bit like he's been crying._

"_Can't get rid of me that easily.'' I laugh; it feels so weird to have him sitting and talking to me face to face, no going through Holly for him to get my responses or having to write it down. I guess it's even weirder for him, whilst I've been seeing him since it happened, he's only ever seen me lying here, probably explaining the overreaction hug._

"_That,'' he says punching me on the arm in usual Flack style as the nurse leaves the room, "is for scaring me. That'' another punch goes on my other arm, "is for scaring the others.''_

"_Flack!" Stella says as she enters the room, pushing him off the bed so that she too can hug me. "He's just woken up and you assault him.'' She ruffles my hair in her motherly way, inspecting my face. "We need to fatten you back up Messer, how you feeling?''_

"_Fine.'' I answer, it's not really how I feel, my world has just been turned upside down. "When can I get out?''_

"_Give them time Danny, you've haven't been awake for an hour and you want out.'' Stella laughs._

"_Where're the others?''_

"_Our new CSI got into a bit of trouble on a scene, they're waiting with her.'' Stella says sincerely, gently rubbing Flack's arm in a comforting way, I guess that Holly still hasn't woken up._

"_Where's Lindsay?'' I ask, slightly harsher than I wanted it to come out._

_Stella is a bit taken back by my tone of voice, "I don't know Danny, I left a message for her, you want me to call her again?'' I nod, she gives a smile to Flack and leaves._

"_So, come on.'' Flack asks, taking a seat in a chair next to me._

"_Come on what?''_

"_What was it?'' he asks slightly excited, "the whole connection thing? Come on, we've mean looking for this for ages, what was it?''_

"_I…it's…'' the words stick in my throat, I don't even want to admit it. I don't my world to crash down around me, my mother doesn't even know, and who says that she was right? The thought of my father doing that, it sickens me. As much as I trust Flack, I can't even process what this could do to my world, I can't tell him._

* * *

My head hurts, really hurts, and my whole body aches. I can hear voices talking over me, arguing over something.

"What do you mean? Why wasn't there backup?'' That sounds so like James.

"We had back-up, there were just more in the gang than we had suspected.'' That's Mac.

"But she was the only one hurt right?'' Deacon. Oh god that means that both James and Deacon are here, and arguing with my boss, nice one boys.

"Unfortunately. It was no-one's fault I can assure you, when she tackled him they fell onto the ice.''

"But he pushed her through?'' James asks again, sounding angrier by the second, I think he's pacing. "It's his fault, he punched her too right? He gave her the black eye?''

"Yes, but…'' Mac confirms.

"How much? I want a minute alone with him, I don't care about the costs.'' James cuts him off.

"Detective Flack already made sure he got something back.'' Hawkes chimes in.

"Not quite the same…'' James starts again.

"Will you guys give it a rest?'' I ask groggily. Opening my eyes to the scene unfolding in front of me. Deacon and James are on my left with Mac and Hawkes remaining on my right. "Did we get him?'' I ask the detectives to my left.

"Spoken like a true cop.'' Hawkes smiles as he nods to my question.

* * *

"James, will you quit pacing?'' I ask later, the doctors have been in to give me a once over, and Mac and Hawkes have excused themselves to go and see Danny since I now have family round me.

"Holly, you shit scared us.'' He replies taking a seat in an unoccupied chair. "Once again you end up in hospital after attempting to do your job.''

"Attempting? Attempting?'' I spluttered. "I wasn't attempting anything, I was doing my job.''

"Yeah Holly, a job.'' He answers, "A job that you don't need, damn it why can't you just do something with less of a risk factor.''

"This is who I am.'' I shout back, "I am a cop, I love what I do. And you're not going to change my mind because every so often something happens and I have to go to hospital, it's life James, people get hurt.''

"This is just some stupid twisted coping mechanism,'' he comes back at me, "you can never get justice for them and you know it.''

"Don't bring them into it.''

"I think,'' Deacon says, calmer than James and I could ever be in this situation. "What James means is, that for the third time this year alone, we've had a call from the hospital to say you've been hurt.'' I open my mouth to argue, "Admittedly, this is the only time it's been this serious, this year, but we flew up when you got shot last year and that Holly was the worst feeling, you thought we'd lost you. We just wonder, if this is what you really want, or if you think you have to do this, because you really don't.'' He finishes. I know that they worry about me, but this is my choice, my life, my decisions, what happened today could have happened to anyone.

"I know that you worry,'' I start, taking a deep breath. "It's not my fault that this job comes with a safety risk, but I'm not going to give it up so you guys feel better. I want to do this.''

"So when will you give it up?'' James asks, "When your dead? Because that's the way its heading.''

"I'm not going to die…''

"Does everyone have to steal my limelight?'' Charlie asks, top of his voice as he swings the door open, so that he has all of the attention in the room. "I fly back, after 3 months away, and what do I get? Some driver telling me that she's in the hospital again, no-one came to the airport.'' He says, trying to look hurt. "Then when I arrive, you'd think someone would notice me, but no, everyone is shouting at each other.'' Everyone in the room is still gaping at his sudden arrival. "Can someone please say 'hi Charlie', I'm starting to feel unloved.''

There's a round of hugs and greetings to Charlie, as James and I continue to glare at each other from across the room. "So,'' Charlie says brightly, one hand adjusting his bleached spikes back into place where Deacon has ruffled his hair as he takes a seat on the end of my bed, "we're discussing Holly's imminent death.''

"I'm not going to die.'' I repeat.

"I've always wanted to go ice swimming, it looks like it's a blast.'' Charlie muses from the end of the bed, receiving a swift whack round the head from James.

"She almost died.'' He mutters, as Charlie begins to rub the spot where he was hit. "So quit with the wise cracks Charlie, we're being serious.''

"I didn't almost die, I was no where near being dead.''

"Holly, you gotta stop playing hero and face the facts. You did come pretty close to dying today, you owe your life to the fact that other people where there to drag you out of the water and save your ass.'' James starts again the same tone as before. "We're worried that one day, we're gonna get that call.'' They all nod in agreement, even Charlie, the god damn hypocrite. "It's like Charlie and his stupid bungee jumping from a helicopter trick.'' Charlie gives a wounded look to James. "Admit it Charlie, it was stupid.''

Charlie muttered something under his breath about it seeming like a good idea at the time. "You went ballistic with him; I've never seen you so angry in all my life. You even had the director of the shoot cowering in a corner.'' James continues, "and you don't understand how we feel, knowing that you put yourself in the same position everyday.''

I take another deep breath, I know where they are coming from, I totally understand it, they just don't understand where I'm coming from. "You know that I love you guys more than anything right?'' I can see mouths opening to tell me not to use that against them. "But,'' I continue before they can get a word in, "I love this job. Sometimes it sickens me to the depths of the soul, and I can't stand the world we live in, but I get to make a difference. I can take criminals and the psychos off the street and attempt to make the city safer, and I can't explain how it feels to know that this is what I need to do. My first case, was finding an abducted child.'' I meet James's eyes, knowing how much he loves his kids. "And I will never forget the gratitude that mother had for me when we returned her, and that's what makes it worthwhile, and I think of that every time I want to quit.''

"So you want to quit?''

"James please don't twist this, seriously. You can accept this or not, but either way I'm going to do it.'' I end. There is a serious silence in the room, which I take as we don't accept it but we'll let the topic go.

"Anyone want to see holiday snaps?''

* * *

"Hey there,'' Flack said as he entered, the doctor had just finished doing an exam making sure that I was ok to go home. The others had left to grab something to eat, since Charlie hadn't eaten on the plane and was complaining that he could feel his ribs through his shirt. "I saw these and thought of you.'' He added, placing a bouquet of sunflowers on the side table, leaning over a kissing me deeply.

"What was that for?'' I asked with a smile, as he took a seat on my bed, that kiss had just lifted hairs on the back of my neck. "Anyone would think that I almost died or something.'' A hurt look spread across his face. "hey,'' I reached out and cupped the side of his face. "I'm not going anywhere, okay, slip of the tongue.'' I smiled again, damn that kiss was good. "How's Danny?''

"He's awake.''' Flack smiled, the first genuine smile I've seen him with for a while. "They think he's going to be okay, I mean it's Danny if he was ever normal I'd worry.'' He flustered, usually I love it when he flusters himself, it's very cute compared to his sarcastic or serious side, but this isn't his usual flustered tone.

"Is everything alright?'' I ask, throwing my makeup bag back into my bag. Stella is officially a god send, she thinks of everything, none the guys had any sense to bring me anything to get changed into. Note to self though, how does Stella know the combination to my lock? Flack nods, although it doesn't look very convincing. "Flack?''

"It's just, I dunno it's been a long day.'' He explains, he looks extremely tried; his eyes look red and drained.

"You're a crappy lair you know that?'' I take a seat next to him, letting my fingers run lazily through his hair, dropping it to the back of his neck. "Tell me.'' Flack didn't respond, instead letting his head drop forward so his forehead rested against mine, closing his eyes in the process. We stay like this for a couple of minutes, feeling the warmth from his breathe on my face. "It's going to be okay you know?'' Once again his lips were on mine, hungry and pressing into me.

"Holly, you gotta something your face.'' Deacon's voice ripped any thoughts I was having from my mind. Quickly Flack and I pulled back, seeing that my three brothers were stood in the doorway. "Check it out, it's a guy.''

"Guys, this is Don Flack, Flack this is Charlie, James and Deacon.'' I introduce them, Flack looking nervously between them, probably not how he imagined meeting his hero, and my brothers.

"So you're Flack.'' Charlie smiles, that cheeky smile which you know is just going to lead to trouble, as Flack shakes his hand. "I keep imagining you in bondage.'' There was a round of very confused looks from everyone. "That sounded better in my head.'' He said brightly, the guy never gets embarrassed, it's slightly amazing.

There was an awkward silence as no-one said anything. "So, we're gonna get going.'' I said, gabbing my bag off the bed and standing up.

"So you're the famous Flack,'' James starts, pushing me back so that I end up sitting on the bed again.

"He's not famous.''

"Well he is in our family.'' Charlie smiled, bemused look on his face. "Like I say bondage.''

"Will you shut up about that, he is not into bondage.''

"Let the man speak for himself.'' Deacon laughed; oh Flack is just going to have a coronary.

"No, you guys will lay off.'' I said standing back up. "It's been a long day, and you are not starting on him about some stupid comment I made to shut him up.'' Pointing at a grinning Charlie.

"Holly I can speak you know.'' Flack starts giving me a look that its okay and he can handle it, shrugging I sit back down, its his funeral. "What do you want to know?''

* * *

**So what do we think? Good? Bad? God damn ugly? Suggestions welcome as always! x**


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